Chapter One

The day had gone nicely for Zim; he had just gotten through his first day at a school known as North High. As he was walking home to his new base, he heard faint sobbing and a sweet voice going on about something. Wondering who it was, he peeked around the corner. It was sweet little What's-Her-Name, roller-blading and crying and talking to herself. Zim hid in the bushes and stalked her.

"Nagato thinks she's so special!" she muttered. "Who does she think she is? So what if I'm not a full Data Integrated Humanoid Interface and just some backup AI unit? The Integrated Data Sentient Entity Interface didn't seem to care because they still sent me! What if she decided she needed me while I was gone and I wasn't there to help her? What would she have done? Oh, I hate her so much!"

Not looking where she was going, the girl didn't notice the rock in front of her and she tripped. She got up and dusted herself off, ignoring her bleeding leg.

"If she didn't interfere when I was trying to kill that annoying little whiner, I wouldn't even have minded waiting that two years that it took for my body to remake itself. Stupid Nagato! I hate hate her! Why can't she just go die? That would be great, sure. But how long until her body was remade? Grr, I want her to be completely destroyed. Along with Kimidori! She's pretty annoying, too."

Zim gasped quietly as a thorn poked him in the side.

"Who's there?" the teen demanded. "I'll stab you, in the face!" Her gaze lowered. "Never mind. Nagato would probably come and save you at the last second like she did with Kyon."

Zim couldn't help but feel slightly sorry for her. He revealed himself and hoped he didn't make a mistake by showing himself.

"Oh, hello." She smiled and closed both of her beautiful blue eyes. "I sit behind you in homeroom. You're Zim-kun, am I correct?"

"Yes, that's correct," Zim replied. He felt oddly comfortable talking to her.

"You're not an ordinary human, are you? I can sense a strange aura coming from you. You are an Irken, I can tell. The Integrated Thought Entity has been studying your race for quite some time. My name is Ryoko Asakura by the way, if you didn't catch it already."

"How long has this...Thought Entity thingy existed? And why have I never heard of it?"

"It's actually called the Integrated Data Sentient Entity Interface, but it's easier just to call it the Integrated Thought Entity. It has existed for quite a long time, longer than anyone can remember."

Ryoko almost frightened Zim; not only because she belonged to a race so secret that even the superior Irken Empire probably hadn't even heard of it, but also because of how extremely easy it was for him to easily talk to her. "They must be pretty stealthy and protected if the Irken Empirre doesn't even know they exist."

"I'm starting to really like you, Zim-kun. Would you like to come over to my house for some tea?"

Without even thinking, the Irken replied, "Sure, I could go for some tea right about now."

"Great! Follow me, my house is this way."

Chapter Two

Ryoko opened the door to her apartment and invited Zim in first.

"I'm not sure what you do in America, but here in Japa--AGH!"

Ryoko fell backwards, but Zim caught her. She stood back up and bent forward. She fell again and hit her head on the wall.

"Are you okay?" Zim involutarily asked.

"Yeah, I'm okay," Ryoko replied. "This is a little bit embarassing. I can't even stand on these things without falling. I swear, I am so clumsy sometimes, even for an AI unit! As I was saying, here in Japan, we take our shoes off at the front door."

Ryoko untied her roller blades and took them off. "I'll go brew the tea now!"

When the tea was done, Ryoko placed a cup at opposite ends of the table and put the teapot in the middle.

"I'm super happy that I have a new friend! It's quite amazing that the Irkens are trying to invade Earth."

"Meh, I guess. These stupid humans won't know what hit them once they're all enslaved by the Irken army! It's a pretty good pass-time."

"You don't seem to be making much progress." Ryoko gulped down her tea and filled her teacup again. "I don't meanto be rude, but you don't have even one small city captured. Maybe you should start off by trying to enslave on just one person to start out? You remember Kyon, right?"

"Uh-huh. What about him?" Zim took a small sip from his little cup.

"I want him dead! He needs to die, and I know you need practice. The best way to destroy Earth is to mess with Haruhi Suzumiya." Ryoko began chugging don the tea, straight from the pot. The greenish-yellow liquid dribbled down her chin. When she realized what she was doing, she blushed. "I'm sorry! Did you want some more? I'm just so thirsty right now, but I don't know why I'm behaving in such a manner while a guest is here! I can go make some more if you want!"

Zim decided that Ryoko felt just as nervous as Zim felt comfortable. "It's okay, Asakura. I'm not all that thirsty anyway."

"Oh, okay. So, um, what do you wanna talk about?" Ryoko blushed an even deeper shade of red.

"Anything you do, I guess. I don't really know. Well, I guess I'd like to know a little bit more about the SOS Brigade that's seemingly super popular."

"The SOS Brigade has five members, as you probaby laready know. Each of them have different powers. The leader, Haruhi Suzumiya, is the god of the entire planet and everything she wishes for comes true one way or another. Kyon is Haruhi's best friend, so he has a lot of control over what happens in this world as well. I'm not sure you've met the other three members. Their names are Itsuki Koizumi, Mikuru Asahina, and Yuki Nagato. Koizumi is an esper, Asahina is a time-traveller, and Nagato is an alien. I hate Nagato so much! I wanna rip her head off and burn her body in a fire pit!"

"If you hate Nagato so much, why don't you want her dead?"

"I want Kyon dead because the amazing size of the data explosion will be huge! It's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so I wanna go for it!"

Awkward silence.

"And a tip of advice," Ryoko added, "don't ever let Nagato bite you."

Zim glanced up at the clock on the wall. "I have to get home before GIR destroys something!"

"Okay. Bye, Zim-kun! I hope you get home before anything is ruined. See you at school tomorrow!"

Zim waved as he exited Ryoko's apartment. He really like Miss Asakura. She was nice and social and it was really easy for Zim to talk to her. Something in the back of his mind told him he was beginning to develop a crush on the blue-haired girl, but he refused to even consider that a possibility.

Chapter Three

"GIR!" Zim yelled as he walked throug the door. "What did you destroy today?"

"Nothin'," the defective SIR unit said. "I've just been watchin' T.V. with Kimidori."


"He's a baloon who can talk! Lookie!" GIR held up a yellowish-green baloon shaped like a dog.

The baloon dog waved. "Hello, there. My name is Kimidori. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Zim blankly stared at GIR and Kimidori. "Uh..."


"Hi, Mr. Kimidori," the Irken mmbled nochalantly. "What are you two watching?"

"'Lucky Star.' Sit down and watch it with us!"

"Is this the anime about the three highschool girls? The one with the blue hair and the other two girls with purple hair?"

"Yep! Now watch it!"

"I hate that one. I'm going down to my base. Don't wreck anything up here and don't answer the door unless it's a girl with long blue hair."

GIR's eyes flashed red and he saluted. "Yes, Master!"

Zim got into his elevator and got off at the bottom. He couldn't get Ryoko off of his mind.

"Maybe I am developing a crush on Asakura...No! I can't be! I am Zim!...But now that I think about it, what the crap does that have to do with anything?...It has everything to do with it!...Why can't I just get Asakura off of my mind?...I've only been trying for five minutes..."

"Come on in!" Zim heard GIR say. "Whoooo are you?

"My name is Yuki Nagato," the guest replied.

Zim got into his elavator and rode it back up to the main floor. "You!"

"I take it Ryoko Asakura told you a little bit about me. As she probably already told you, she hates me because I rescued Kyon from her and then I killed her."

Zim crossed his arms. "Kyon is a worthless excuse for a human!"

"So Ryoko says. But how do you know any of it is true? Did she make one of her special offers? To you already have feeling towards her? Are you just naïve?"

"I trust she is telling the truth because she seems like someone who can be trusted. But you killed her once, so I'm definitely not trusting you!"


"Allow me to explain," Yuki said. "I may be able to convice you."

"Because I definitely have nothing better to do than to listen to you go on about how your right and Asakura's wrong!"

"Please, hear me out."

Zim thought for a moment, and he reluctantly nodded.

Chapter Four

"My name is Yuki Nagato," the purple-haired girl began. "I am trusting you with this knowledge because you are an alien and not an ordinary human. Irken Invader Zim, is your name, I do believe.

"I am a data integrated humanoid interface, sent by the Integrated Data Sentient Entity Interface. They are an alien organization that only exists because Haruhi Suzumiya wished for aliens to exist in this universe. That is the same with the esper organization, the one Isuki Koizumi belongs to, and the tame-traveller organization, the one Mikuru Asahina belongs to. If Miss Suzumiya was to stop believing in aliens, espers, and time-travellers, the world would completely be changed the next time she woke up. Everything would fall perfectly into place and no one would notice unless they were somehow unchanged.

"The reason Ryoko Asakura is trying to kill Kyon-kun and not myself is because Miss Suzumiya would snap and my organization would get to experience an enormous explosion of data ten times larger than this little icon." She pulled out a computer, opened it up, hit a few buttons, and turned it around so Zim could see.

Zim stared at the what's-it on the screen and gave Yuki one of his are-you-stupid-or-something looks on his face. He had been on Earth for almost four years and he knew that that couldn't even be worth even a gigabyte! "Hooray! You'll get to observe a massive explosion of three gigs! Amazing."

"I bet you would believe this if it was coming out of Asakura's mouth, am I correct?"

"You definitely are!" Zim pulled out a paper and a pencil from a drawer and drew a dog, purposely making it extremely crummy. "Twenty terrabytes of data right here!" he squealed sarcastically. He crumpled it up and threw it at Yuki's face. "Is that enough data for you."

"I will allow Miss Asakura to explain this to you, Zim-kun." Yuki stood up and walked towards the front door. "You are gaining no understanding from me attempting to explain this to you." She exited the house.

Kimidori hopped off of the couch. "Ryoko Asakura?" he asked. "You're friends with Miss Asakura?"

Zim nodded. "Uh-huh. Why?"

"Do you think you take me over to her house tomorrow?"


"I'm her pet. There are no animals allowed in her apartment, so Nagato made me to be her pet. Since I'm technically not a living animal, I am allowed to live with her."

"Um...okay. I guess would better to have you out of my house."

GIR looked sad. "But Master!" he protested.

"No, GIR," Zim said. "He's Asakura's pet and she probably misses him very much."


Zim walked over to his elevator. "Now that Nagato is gone, I have some work to do."

Chapter Five

Zim sat down in front of Ryoko the next morning. He turned his head to glare at Kyon, who was staring at him with a shocked expression.

"Do not stare at ZIIIM!" Zim yelled at Kyon.

"Sorry, it's just you seem so friendly with Miss Asakura," he replied in an I-hate-my-life tone that he usually used.

"Whoever said I wasn't? And I don't care what Nagato told you. There is nothing wrong with Ryoko Asakura, so don't besh her head in like you usually do!"

Kyon got up from his and got down on his knees in front of Zim. "Besides her trying to kill me?" he whispered. "She is a malfunctioning AI unit, she's friends with you--"

Ryoko slammed her hands down on her desk and quickly got up. "Look, Kyon, if there's one thing I hate it's when you insult me or my friends. Spreading rumors is something that'll hurt me and eventually it'll get you into a lot of trouble! And if part of the reason you don't like me is because we're friends, then there's no way we'll ever get along!" She stormed up to the teacher's desk and waited patiently with her hands folded in front of her.

"I've never seen Asakura angry before," Haruhi said. "What did you say about her, Kyon? Never mind, you can hear her yelling."

"I'm not quite sure what I did!" she yelled angrily, pointing at Kyon. "Kyon is spreading rumors about me and he's starting to hate me because I've got a small crush on a guy in this class! I want him to stop!"

"She's actually getting really upset," Haruhi whispered. "I'm honestly getting kind of scared."

The teacher calmly walked over to where Kyon and Zim were sitting and looked at Kyon. "You need to stop spreading rumors about Miss Asakura. It's going to ruin her social life here and it's going to eventually come back and ruin yours."

"Yes, sir," Kyon said. After the teacher went back up to his desk, his eyes shot up to meet Ryoko's. "Was that true, what you said up there?"

"Yes, I had so much anger bottle up inside me, I guess I couldn't control my emotions. Sorry you had to see me lose my cool like that, Zim," she apologized.

Zim blushed slightly, but didn't reply.

"Sit down, everyone," the teacher said. "Eyes up here, we're about to begin!"

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