LMX presents to you: One of the worst pathetic fics she has EVER read.
Staring: Invader Maz as the sue, and Zim as Zim.
Post was on "Project A.F.T.E.R"
Fanfic written by some random idiot who tried to make a fanfic but failed because of a sue
---Chapter one: Arrival of the Sue---
"INVADER MAZ: Tallest, please let me go to some puny planet that an Irken invader has failed to, well, invade." First sentence, and we have a Mary Sue, and a stupid request which will land her into our fandom. This does not look good.
"(PURPLE TALLEST is gazing unblinkily at MAZ, staring at her beauty)"
'Unblinkily'? No, that's not her beauty, it's her Mary Sue brain control powers. Fight it you fool!
"RED TALLEST: Ummmmm.......ummmmmmmm...sure......uhhhh"
Throw her into the meat grinder planet!
"but which one? MAZ: (flutters eyes) Oh....I dunno, how about Earth? (flutters eyes again)" Suddenly Red swatted at her annoying fluttering eyes, and splatted them against the wall of where ever the he** they were. “That takes care of THAT!” He said. Sure he would normally use lasers or something, but this is a fic! Canon does not exist!
"R.T.: Umm.....ya....ok..... MAZ: Oh thank you, my (sexy voice) almighty and all knowledgeable leaders. (she kisses each of them and both of them sigh in pleasure) bye bye."
Okay, this is really pathetic. I mean, REALLY! And the da** script format! Ah the crap that can be found on fan sites.
"(After she leaves) R.T. : Noooooooooooo!"
Subtitles: Do not want!
"P.T. What's wrong?!?!?! R.T. We sent her to ZIM!!! Both of them: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
With all this description, and drama, I fell off my seat.
---Chapter two: OH GOD---
"(Back at Earth)"
It was winter, and there was snow everywhere, and a giant baby floating outside ZIM's house. Sorry, I had to ad at least a little description.
"(Doorbell rings) ZIM: GIR!! Get the door. GIR: Sir, yes, sir! You know what's a weird word? FORK!!"
I love this show, yet it's what got all the idiot fan brats into saying random words and thinking that they're being funny. ...Well, this was one of the things that started it.
"(At the Door) JOHNNY: Ummm, hi. I'm Nny, your next door neighbor. I'm selling Sporks and salad tongs. You shall buy them. GIR: Umm NO NNY: You shall. You do not know the hideous things I have done with salad tongs. Oh the pain. GIR: Nice talkin' to ya! BYE BYE NNY: um ya Bye."
Mysterious mysteries guy: ... What did that have to do with ANYTHING?! I wish I had a macro of that for this.
"(GIR goes back down to ZIM.) ZIM: Who was it? GIR: NNNNNNNNNNNNNnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! ZIM: o..............k COMPUTER: Zim, I have signals indicating an invader is approaching Earth. (ZIM is playing with a rubex cube) ZIM: Curse Earth games! Oh, what? Okay, whatever."
Okay... WHAT THE HE**WAS THAT!? This a prime example of a Invader ZIM Mary Sue fic.
---Chapter three: HOW DID HE/SHE MAKE IT THIS FAR!?---
"(Next day at SKOOL) MS. BITTERS: Class, we have a new student in our class..............her name is Maz."
I thought her name would be 'Dot', seeing how the 'author' has a fetish with all things dot shaped.
"(at that moment MAZ walks in. The children are all bored. When the boys look at MAZ they stare longingly at her beautiful self.; MAZ flips her hair beautifully)"
Prime moment for face palm. I mean 'her beautiful self'?!? WTF???
"MAZ: Ms. Bitters? May I sit at the front of the row so all the boys will look like they are actually paying attention to you?"
Even though every one is only around ten, and at that age most boys find girls icky. It's just my magic as a Mary Sue! Watch me sparkle!
"(MS. BITTERS is playing with a rubex cube) M.B.: Oh, sure go ahead. MAZ: I want her spot! M.B.: Bye Sara SARA: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
I'm going to try and decipher this scene. The Sue points at a seat with some girl, than the girl either get sucked into a hole in the ground, or walks out screaming in jealousy due to the Mary Sue's beauty.
"(MAZ sits by ZIM, and she stares lovingly at ZIM. Of course, he is oblivious to her.) (At recess, all the boys are surrounding MAZ just to look at her. She wants to go to ZIM but he is "off in his own little world;" however, he notices that all the boys are around her and he is not.) ZIM: I ZIMMM! Am not an outcast! I shall show this love pig my " affection!""
No ZIM! Runaway! RUNAAAAAAAAAAAWAY! While you still own your own manhood- Wait? To bug aliens even have manhood?
"(ZIM approaches her but they are dismissed, and DIB is talking to, and trying to impress, MAZ after school.) DIB: Aaaaaand I'm a paranormal investigator. I research questions like aliens and why you are so beautiful".
I literally face palmed at that part. How could anyone post this!?
"MAZ: Wait, have you even found any "ALIENS" yet? DIB: Ummmm... Actually, I have. His name is Zim. You know the green kid in our class. MAZ: Where does he live? DIB: Why do you want to know? MAZ: Well, ( she flips her hair) I wanted to know so we could maybe expose him for the alien he really is. DIB: Duhhh... Ok."
Well, he's already lost his brain. I hope ZIM gets away before she can work her evil on him. And if that Sue flips her hair one more time, I'm going to go and scalp her.
---Chapter four: The failed attempt at a s**y love scene thing---
"( As they approach ZIM's house) MAZ: Thank you Dib. You can go home now. DIB: Okey dokie."
Wait, I thought you were trying to- GHA! I can feel my brain ooze out my nose!
"MAZ: (sighs) ok here we go.( she rings the doorbell) ZIM: Yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyes? MAZ: Hello Zim. ZIM: Oh, hello love pig. You may idol me." NO! She's going to put him on 'American Idol'! This is your last chance! RUUUUUUN!
"(MAZ pushes ZIM inside, locks the door, and rips off his disguise.) ZIM: (in horror) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! What are you doing? (MAZ, slowly and romantically, takes off her disguise. She is exceedingly beautiful, and very tall for a girl Irken invader)"
Then why isn't she Invader her own planet? Instead of being the Tallest's h**. Yeah, that's what I think she is, a h**.
"ZIM: uhhhh.......... MAZ: Yes Zim, it is I, Maz."
ZIM: YOU'RE AFTER MY PLANET! BE GONE! Before I... sic you with my killer robot! Sorry, I had to have something at least a little canon here.
"ZIM: hummana hummmmmana humm. MAZ: As you know, one Irken couple can join together and well, (she moves closer to ZIM) it's my turn and I pick you. (ZIM stares in disbelief as she holds his hands and gazes into his red eyes.)"
His eyes aren't red! ZIM's eyes are MAGENTA! There's a difference! I'm sorry, it always annoyed me when people say that they're red.
"ZIM: Why do you choose me? I mean, you had all those tall and strong and handsome and tall Irken boys to choose from? FOR CRYING OUT LOUD YOU COULD'VE PICKED THE TALLEST! YOU WOULD'VE BEEN IN COMMAND! And why me?"
D*** it you h**! You could have been with the Tallest, than killed them, and made me KING or what ever!
"MAZ: Well, I knew them before they were high and mighty, and they were in love with me like all the other boys. They only wanted to grow taller so that they could try and impress me. They wanted me to pick them. They both wanted me to pick both of them. That would've been weird. Because as you know, the couple get to have one Irken child that isn't genetically created in labs like you and me. I really like you, no I love you Zim! (she throws herself into his arms) Hold me."
Wait, one Irken couple gets to have a baby? And miss Sue just loves ZIM SO much that she will give up leadership to have him! This is quite possible one of the biggest Mary Sues I've ever seen. Save for the fact that the 'author' doesn't get into minute detail about her.
"ZIM: I...I...don't know what to say........ GIR: I LOOOOVE YOU! (GIR runs up and gives MAZ a hug) ZIM: You didn't tell me why you picked me. MAZ: Well, your naivety, to me, is a turn on, and we are total opposites."
Yes, she strong, competent, smart, beautiful. Everything ZIM isn't, it's like she's using him to make herself look better.
"MAZ:Opposites attract, you know. But really, I don't know.. I just love you Zim, I love you with all my heart. ZIM: But what about my mission? MAZ: Why do you think I came to Earth, and not have you be ordered to come to Irk? I want to work on the mission with you because (she flips her hair) I want to be with you. (her eyes flutter) I love you."
Than Johnny came again. This time he gouged out her eyes, and tore off her hair! Even though she's a bug, and bugs don't have hair.
"ZIM: But what if we do get "married" MAZ: Then we use this ( she pulls out a weird device thingy) to speed up time so we are older and "old enough", in human eyes, to get "married." ZIM: Wow! You have had a lot of time to plan this haven't you?"
How convenient, just like a Mary Sue
"(MAZ nods) MAZ: I love you Zim. ZIM: I love you too"
Mister knife! Go, kill the Sue who dares to call herself an Irken!
"GIR: YEAH!!!!!!!!!! (They become silhouetted and they kiss) GIR: Awwwwwwwwww."
Than GIR goes into duty mode, and obliterates them, the end!
"(MAZ presses the button, and swirly effects happen; MAZ is now even taller and more beautiful (if that was Irkenly possible)"
Than someone else came in! It wasn't Johnny, it was some weird girl with a chainsaw. She cut MAZ into little bite size pieces, and flushed those pieces down the toilet.
"and ZIM stayed the same except he is taller and a little cuter) MAZ: I love you Zim! ZIM: I love you too TIC TAC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
They can't even spell the characters names, lovely.
"dun Dunnn DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN....................."
"Will MAZ dump ZIM? Will ZIM apologize? Will they get "married"? Will anyone actually read this?"
For question one, are they actually 'together'? Question two, what's wrong with liking candy? Question three, RETURN OF THE CRAZY CHAINSAW GIRL! And for the last question, it would be better if you had deleted this, than burned the computer.
"SCROLL down to find out what happens.."
I think I'll stop for now, even though this isn't that long. Plus, stupidity this power should only be let loose in small bites.
A little Q/A:
Q: How did you get the purple lettering?
A: Don't ask, it just came like that when I copy-pasted it here...
Q: Is this YOUR fanfic/story? O.O
A: HECK NO
Q: Who wrote this?
A: Some idiot.
Q: Who owns Maz?
A: Uhh, most likely Invader Katara.
Q: Do you own the commentary?