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I don't believe it.

I can't believe it.

I WON'T believe it.

I looked up to the sky as the rain pounded it's death-filled droplets on my already scorched skin.

I won't cry, I told myself, She's okay, she's okay.

My hopes were fading fast though as I saw her unconscious body laying not too far from me.

Paralyzed with fear and anxiety, I had to repeatedly tell my PAK for the use of my legs before they complied and I set off stumbling towards her.

I laced my claws in her fake but surprisingly silky dark brown hair.

The vibrant glow of magenta from the windows tinting her with an errie glow. Slowy the light was drowned out by red and blue as I heard sirens all around me.

I was convicted for murder, how I allowed myself to succumb to my evil side I don't know.

I felt and still feel like a monster.

Back to that day they arrived shortly after picking up the raven-haired boy I had killed.

It was his stupid fault.

He's the one who stole it from me again.

I ordered the PAK legs to shoot out and in a flash of scarlet he was erased from the present, now a part of history.

I do feel bad for the Gaz-sister and the Dib-father.

But that little wormed killed my En.

The only friend I had on that filthy planet.

And no I'm talking about Earth.

The Dib had killed my En, I don't know if he meant it or not, that I am not sure of, all I felt at the moment in question was anger towards him.

I made a foolish mistake.

And now I suffer dearly for it.

But I am forgaven.

It's okay.

She had been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Maybe.

Just maybe.

If I were a little more farther to the right and a little closer to her.

I would of took that shot.

The shot that peirced through her green skin and landed right in her heart.

I could have prevented it.

I know I could have.

She wasn't too far away.

I was too busy fooling around with Dib.

So maybe...

I caused two deaths that night.

Because I had been messing with Dib while he was aiming at me.

I jumped on him.

He rolled to the ground.

Accidentally pulling the trigger.

Horrified I turned my head and shouted,

"GET DOWN!"

But I guess it was too late.

It hit her.

Killing her instantly.

From there I really can't recall much except for feeling pure hatred towards the human.

He had killed my friend.

He wasn't going to get away with it.

I hate myself for what I did next.

I ordered the PAK with all my might to see if it could still read my commands.

Then a flash of scarlet.

A deafening scream.

And then I looked up and saw his fallen figure.

Laying in a pool of red.

Then the rain came.

Giving me my punishment.

When the Earth authorities came

I just let them take me.

I had no good reason to run

Or escape

I deserved anything they had for me.

Maybe the Dib would get his autopsy and I would be able to be with En.

I had gotten my sins forgiven.

She tought me about God

And what was waiting for her and I

When we died.

Maybe I would get a death sentence.

In my defense I didn't really kill Dib or En.

Dib killed En

My PAK killed Dib.

The loss of my PAK almost killed me.

I only wished it did.

But somehow

By some dumb un-needed luck

They just connected the cursed thing to my back

I don't understand why God didn't just let me die

But...

Its His Will.

They took me to jail

Skipped juvinile jail

Went straight to jail

I wasn't even put on trial

They took me straight to a cell

And left me there to rot

Or so I thought

Gaz-sister bailed me

Her father-unit drove me back to my base

And left me at the door-step

Without a single word

I think they moved

I'm pretty sure they did

I went to Dib's funeral

I was the only one there other than the priest.

It was almost unfuriating

Not seeing anyone else care

About a death

I couldn't blame our class

Or the rest of the town

But what happened to his family

Or Dwicky?

Or even maybe Keef?

No

It was just me

After that

It showed me

Just how harsh

And cruel

Humans are

Not even caring about a child's death

Sure

Maybe he was crazy

Insane

And slightly really annoying

But...

Nevermind that

After I left I came back to my base

Where deep in the underground labs I tried to revive her.

I fixed her PAK

Stiched back the hole in her heart.

And even took some blood of my own.

Nothing works.

But I will find a way.

Because until she's alive again.

I'm not gonna be

Okay.

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