This is where ALL my short one-shots are going to go. Enjoy the randomness, the drama, and the twisted roamance.
You See Fireworks, I See World Destruction In a More Pleasurable Display (A/N: VERY, VERY long title)
Why?: Because today is the Fourth of July, and I was bored.
"I'm not going. There's no way in Irk you can make me." Zim simply refused to get up from the couch.
"How about Earth?" En asked.
"No." he dead-panned.
"It'll be fun." En pressed.
"I hate fun. It's for humans." Zim rolled his eyes.
"You hate too much, sometimes I'm afraid that you're going to implode on yourself because you hate so much." En crossed her arms, further thinking of a way for him to come.
"Good, then maybe there IS a way off the planet." Zim replied.
"You don't mean that." En denied another one of his claims.
"Of course I don't, I have a mission." he shook a fist then composed himself and returned to his former posture, "The answer's still. no."
"There'll be explosions." En crowed.
That got him, his antennae perked, "Explosions?"
"Yep, red like the blood of humans, blue like the bruises you'll cause them, and white like their cold... dead... flesh." En whispered darkly.
"There aren't any white fireworks..." Dib interrupted.
En gave Dib a sharp look, "I know that."
TBA Sorry, my brain stopped working D:
Just A Little Smeet
Why?: I had the idea when drawing Shim that Zim mostly belittles him, protege or not.
"You might as well of been just hatched."
"Yes, I know Zim. I get it. I'm a smeet." Shim mumbled looking up at his idol with a glare.
"No really, how old are you? A year?" Zim continued even poking the smaller Irken male in the chest.
Shim swiped his hand away, "No."
"A month?" Zim continued, sneering, his magenta eyes narrowing playfully.
"NO." Shim clenched his teeth together hard, at least hard enough that whenever he talked he scraped a layer off the small bones.
"An hour?" the older alien got into the younger's face.
That's where Shim lost it and showed his true age of a twelve year old smeet. He stomped his feet and threw his small body into jumps as he slashed the air with his gloved claws.
Beside him, Zim was laughing loudly, "Aw, is the little smeet having a temper tantrum?" his voice was sickeningly sweet and high-pitched.
Shim instantly stopped his act and returned to glaring softly at Zim as he mumbled, "I'm one year younger than you darn it."
Zim ignored his claim and picked up the long cape that sprouted from the back of Shim's shirt.
"Wh-what's this? A cape?" Zim was sent into another fit of uncontrolable laughter.
By this time Shim didnt care if the Irken in front of him was his idol or not, he temporarily disliked him.
"What?" he growled under his breath, irritated.
"Haha! Do you-do you use it for dress-up?" Zim had to stop talking as he choked a little on his words, clutching where his spooch was. He then raised his arms in front of him like a cheesy super-hero, "I-I'm super Irken Shim! Da-dada-da!"
Zim then procceded to grab his head as it throbbed with the rythym of his laughter.
Shim's face grew dark green below the eyes and above the mouth in a blush, "NO! It's for style!"
The older Irken lost it at this and collasped on the floor in a spazing fit, so bad that if you walked in on the situation without knowing much you probably would have either 1) called the ambulance, 2) ran the heck outta there, or 3) accused him of switching GIR's and Zim's brains.
Shim looked down at the Irken male on the ground and frowned, the dark green slowly fading away as he gingerly stepped over the form, his boots 'click'ing against the tiled surface.
Zim looked up, his eyes clouded with tears, as he kept laughing, "Hey, where are you going?"
"Bed. Good-night." Shim crossed his skinny arms and glared down at the older Irken before turning around and walking towards his room with a smirk.
"Haha! The little smeet's gonna go take a nap!" Zim used the same voice as before which sent him (unbelievably) laughing even more as he rolled around on the kitchen floor.
He was enjoying the former conversation so much that he didnt even notice when little robot feet pattered against the floor near him.
"What's so funny?!?" GIR asked fairly loud.
Zim, not AT ALL, expecting that, shot up and ran to his own room, slamming it, screaming all the way.
GIR stared, confused then skipped away, once again happily content.
"Ha! Get a grip you smeet!" Shim commented from beyond his door.
Pull the Trigger, I Dare You
Why?: I was bored and ready to write some ZADE/ZADF
Zim stood in the doorway, well to be honest, he was lay in the doorway.
Dib was not even feet away, holding the accursed weapon as Zim spewed as many Irken curse words he could remember through the mind-numbing pain.
The invader soon was overtaken by the effects of the injury and just laid there groaning and thinking about what was going to happen next.
Dib, baffled and excited, ran over to the fallen Irken and smirked triumphantly.
"Not so mighty aren't you Zim? Cant take a little itty bitty bullet from a 'weak' Earth weapon." Dib jeered.
Zim, not very fully alive at the moment could just glare as the teenager bent down to his face-level and continued, "I cant believe I used to potray you as a real threat."
"P-pwhet." Zim gasped out.
"What are you whining about?" Dib snapped.
"P-pul..eh." Zim tried again.
"Pulley?" Dib echoed, "Why am I even trying to talk to you? Look at yourself Zim. Take a good, hard, look at yourself. You're just a piece of green roadkill rotting in the sun right now. You're bleeding out a river. And your "eyes" are starting to show it too. I'm just going to let you die in that pitiful disguise as I reminder when you get to 'that place below us' of what a huge failure you are." Here he grabbed a piece of Zim's shriveling wig and held it up in front of his face, "I'd consider it a souvenir. But that's from places I actually want to be."
"PULL IT!" Zim shouted, interrupting Dib and causing the boy to fly backwards in surprise.
"Pull what?!" Dib barked back, frustrated but still slightly shocked.
"THE TRIGGER! I DARE YOU!" Zim clutched his soaked in blood mid-section.
"Oh so you do!? Well I could do it right now if I wanted!" Dib shoved the metal weapon in Zim's face.
"THEN DO IT YOU COWARD!" Zim was then broken off as he vomited a mouthful of dark green blood.
Dib stepped back as he watched Zim's head fall into the puddle and the contacts chipped away, half-way revealing his enemy's real magenta eyes. The wig now laid in the blood was starting to slide off, unmasking one antennae that laid limp.
"D-do it..." Zim whispered, a glare still on his face but it faltered and showed his request was a plead.
"Why should I? All the pain you put me through! No way!" but inside Dib was considering doing it.
"D-Dib-s-stink... it turns out.. y-you are a w-worthy enemy... now that I am d-defeated... this... was the last thing I ever c-considered but... please... just do it... I dare you.." Zim mumbled, eyes sliding half-lidded.
"Wait, don't." Dib thought those words would stop the unstoppable as he kneeled down near Zim's nearly lifeless body.
"Do it... I dare y-you." Zim choked out as he opened his eyes the best he could in curiosity.
"What did you say Zim?" Dib asked shaking the invader roughly.
Zim let out a strangled groan of agony, "I dare you.."
"No, no not that. I meant-"
"Just shut-up and watch me-" Zim's PAK flashed three times as his eyes clouded and closed. His stiffly clutching arms relaxed against his blood-stained uniform and the loud beating stopped.
"Zim?" Dib bit his lip, knowing what he just witnessed, he looked down at the weapon in his hand and dropped it horrified, "What.. what have I done?"
"You killed your enemy, shouldn't you be happy?" the raspy girl's voice sounded behind him.
"Gaz?" he stood up shocked, accidentally spraying his sister with green blood.
"You'll pay for that later." Gaz growled.
"What are you doing here? Were you here the whole time?" he asked frantically.
"Calm it you paranoid." Gaz mumbled, "Yes I was. But the real question is why are you not prancing around his body like a fool."
"First, because I would look like a crazy heartless murderer-"
"You are a crazy heartless murderer." Gaz pointed out, gesturing towards Zim's body for reference.
"SECOND-" he glared, "I just don't... it doesn't feel right. I mean, I'm happy I don't have to worry about him anymore... but I-" he stopped, "Nevermind. Let's just go. We'll talk about it when we get out of here."
The sound of police sirens sounded which caused the Membrane siblings to scram.
But Dib couldn't stop thinking about his enemy's shocking words as he went to bed that night, the gun laced between his fingers, stained permanently with the memory of the most stupidest thing he had done in his lifetime.
Why?: I wanted to write my first pure GAZR/GAZeR fic.
"My Master won't like this Gir, she'll be very worried." Zee whispered, her purple orbs slanted sadly.
"Don't worry I'll getcha home before she wakeys!" Gir chimed as he extended his hand out further for her to grasp.
Zee took one last glance towards her master's sleeping form and crawled out the window with Gir, landing beside him in the cool night air in the wet grass.
"Where are we going?" she asked, happily.
"TO A RAVES!" Gir shouted, too loud for her tastes.
She cupped his mouth, "Gir! Please don't wake our masters."
He nodded stupidly and she removed her glowing hand, shifting it back to her side, "What's a rave?"
"It's only the most awesomest thing evar! We gets to dance and drink SuckMonkeys and a whole lotta stuffs! I GOT VEE EYE PEE!" He cried shaking her.
Zee giggled softly, "Sounds fun, let's get going then."
GIR noddedly wildly and took her hand blasting down the street towards the city. He stopped when they arrived at an ally, the sounds of booming music echoing through the barren streets.
"It doesn't look safe here, Gir." Zee mumbled, her eyes flashing lime green, as she scanned the area.
"Don't worries! I gotchoo!" Gir exclaimed jumping in front of her protectively, mostly jokingly.
Zee let out another chuckle, "Thanks."
Suddenly there was a gun-shot heard very near the two SIR units.
Zee screamed in surprise as Gir flew behind her, frightened. She looked back at her friend and sighed, "Look, maybe we can go another time with Zim and my Master."
"No! Tonight they got me VIP and I don' wanna miss my VIP." Gir refused and stepped in front of her again, he looked close to tears.
Again, Zee sighed and gave in to his pleading look, "Alright, Gir, but one more gun-shot and we-AGGGHH!"
Gir jumped and turned, eyeing a masked figure who loomed over him, now holding Zee by the scruff of her 'pomeranian-diguise' neck, "Gir!" she cried.
"Put down the lady!" Gir chanted as his eyes burned a deep maroon and his normal high-pitched voice lowered dramatically.
"And what if I dont?" the figure asked, sounding very eerily familiar.
"THEN I'LL FORCE YOU TO." Gir glared picking up a fighting stance.
Zee gasped when she saw Gir let out a battle cry and chase down the kidnappe, who was now running.
"Only if you can catch me!" the figure chuckled manacingly as they bolted down the lamp-lightened street.
"Come back here criminal!" Gir growled, now running at top-speed even though he was no longer in duty-mode, he jumped upwards and landed on the kidnappers upper back.
There was a loud snap and soon 3 bodies laid on the ground, groaning.
Gir got up instantly and ran over to Zee who was trembling slightly, he embraced her, "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Are you?" Zee asked checking him for any dents or oil leakage.
"I'm okays." he smiled, returning to his goofy self.
Zee smiled then her eyes burned lime green as she jumped away from Gir's arms and towards the fallen criminal, "And you. I'll make you wish you were never born you sick and twisted-"
"Wait!" shouted the figure, raising their arms above their head protectively.
"Why should I?!" Zee snapped, but still lowered her arms slightly.
"Because," they removed the mask from their head and it turned out that the 'familiar voice' was very familiar.
"ZIM/MASTER?!" the two robots shouted in unison.
Lavender-blue contact eyes glared at them, still fixtated into a pained expression, "Yes, it is I." he hissed.
"But why?" Zee whispered as the Irken rose to his feet, shakingly.
"It was my idea." said a voice.
"ENNY/MASTER..?!" Gir said it with glee while the other said it with fear.
"Yes, me. Zee, don't you ever try to do that again. And Gir, I wouldnt be so happy once Zim deals with you. I'm very disappointed in the both of you." En scolded then sighed seeing their sad expressions, "But the punishments will not include any type of banishments of piggies or... in her case... kitties."
The two robots relaxed and smiled at her.
"I never agreed to that." Zim interrupted.
"Come on, it's not like you never tried to sneak out before." En raised a fake eyebrow at him.
"I didnt, I was obediant." Zim sneered, proudly.
"Neither did I, but you came across me as the type that would do that." En admitted, shrugging.
"Well, enough of this, now thanks to Gir I am in horrible pain and don't expect me at skool tomorrow." he glared at his SIR then turned to En and Zee with a sigh, "Zee, En. Good night and I hope I see neither one of you anytime soon."
"Uh, okay then. See you." En shrugged when Zee did as well.
He nodded and turned to Gir, "Come Gir, I need you to place my spine back into alighnment."
Zee couldnt help but snicker but stopped when suddenly a brief kiss was planted on her metallic cheek. She saw the ghost of GIR's puckered lips when he quickly turned back around and headed down the street beside Zim.
"And one more thing." Zim called out, facing the two again.
"Yes?" En gestured for him to continue.
"Keep Zim out of any more of your terrible plans." he snarled and then kept going, disappearing from sight.
"Yeah, he's not going to keep to that. Come on Zee, maybe he'll notice that tommorow's Sunday later." En took her SIR's hand and they walked to her small apartment complex.
'Cause Your Mamma Don't Dance, And Your Daddy Don't Rock and Roll