AUTHOR'S NOTE: This has absolutely nothing to do with the site, but I got bored and this is what I thought of last night.
Kyo Sohma walked through the silent woods, wondering why it couldn't be this calm anywhere else that he liked to be.
"Hello," a thin girl with teal hair and teal eyes greeted him. She smelled strongly of leeks, making Kyo feel sick. "Who are you?"
"Why do you care who I am?" he growled in reply.
"You wanna walk home with me?...Oh, are you feeling all right? You're looking a little bit pale."
"I'm fine!" He shoved her down and climbed up a tree. A couple minutes later, he felt one of her boots slam into his back and he fell to the ground. He landed on his stomach. Cats don't always land on their feet.
"What was that for?" he demanded.
She jumped to the ground right next to his head. "You aren't feeling well. I can see quite clearly. You are going to eat my leeks and you are going to like them!"
Completely on impulse, as always, he shot back, "I'm going to be sick on your boots and it's going to be your fault!"
"All the more reason to eat one of the freaking leeks!" She smacked him in the face with one of her leeks.
"I DON'T WANT ANY!"
"Open wide!" She snapped a leek in half and held it in front of Kyo's face.
He tasted bile pool up in the back of his throat. He almost screamed something on impulse, but the only thing keeping him from screaming was his desire to keep his lunch down where it belonged.
She slammed Kyo's head against the ground, pried his mouth open, and shoved a whole leek in. She pressed both hands against his mouth.
As he reluctantly chewed and choked down the repulsived food, Kyo felt the presence of someone else. And he heard laughing.
Kyo kicked the girl away and got onto his feet. "Shut up, dang rat!"
"Leek Girl is right behind you."
"I'M NOT ST--" He was cut off as more leeks were shoved into his mouth and the girl's hands were pressed against his lips. It was even harder for him to swallow them this time.
"Did you like my leeks?" she squealed in an even more annoyingly high-pitched voice.
"No!" Kyo yelled. "I tried to tell you that I don't like them! Just the smell of leeks makes me sick, now go away!"
"S-sorry about that..."
"Well, sorry doesn't--"
Kyo darted around the tree Yuki was leaning against (laughing at the poor kitty cat), one hand over his stomach and the other over his mouth. His legs collapsed underneath him and he emptied his stomach out onto the ground.
"A-are you crying?" Yuki asked.
The helpless-looking kitty stopped just long enough to yell, "Of course not, you dang rat. Even if I did ever cry, I wouldn't ever in front of you."
After about five more minutes, Kyo sat back against the tree, gasping for air.
A smile formed on Yuki's face. "Stupid cat," he laughed.
"Dang rat!" Kyo growled back.
"Even after that, you two just don't get along."
"Tohru?" they asked in unison. "When did you get here?"
"I've been here for a while. You, dang rat, need to be nicer to Kyo. He didn't even start it this time." Tohru gae Yuki a hard pat on the head. "And you, stupid cat, need to learn how to fight sixteen-year-old girls with leeks. But I guess you weren't prepared to face a leek-obsessed weirdo, were you?" Tohru wiped the last of the tears from Kyo's eyes and hugged him.
"Hey!" he hissed. "You know I don't like it whe you do that!"
"That's nice, but you're so cute as a cat!" Tohru gave Kyo a kiss on the top of the head and whispered, "I think Yuki's getting jealous of you."
Kyo started purring and gingerly pressed his nose against hers for about a helf-second. "Then I guess I don't really mind."