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Deathbloom leaned back in her chair, listening to the songs being sung.

"Why are we even here?" Zeel asked with an annoyed tone in her voice. "This is the official worst karaoke ever. The time we're spending here couldn't get any worse."

"Shush," Deathbloom hissed. "Don't say things like that!"

"Or else?"

A couple of boys who had been walking around the building sat down in the two empty seats at Deathbloom's and Zeel's table.

"Hiya~" Zeel said, smiling.

"Hey, girls," one of the boys said.

The other grinned. "Nice evening, isn't it? What are your names, ladies?"

"How rude." Deathbloom pushed her chair back and balanced it on its back legs, putting her feel up on the table. "Asking a couple of clearly-uninterested girls for their names without even introducing yourselves. Learn some manners, why don't you?"

"Trevor," the first boy said.

"Cameron," the second boy said. "Now can we get your names, sweethearts?"

"I'm Deathbloom." She glared at Cameron and dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands to help keep her anger under control.

"Zeel," Zeel responded. "And don't you ever address me as 'sweetheart.'"

"A couple of aggressive women, hmm?" Trevor cooed. "I like fiesty girls."

Deathbloom stared for a couple moments before kicking Trevor from underneath the table. "I assume you're a couple of womanizers. Doesn't go well in a feminist's book, you know." She paused a moment before she added, "And my girlfriend and I are up to kicking both of you to the curb very, very violently." She didn't quite catch the term she used to refer to Zeel as her girlfriend, and apparently neither of the boys or Zeel caught it at all. Both girls already had a boyfriend. Oh well, accident or not, she could play it off as if she had "girl friend" if anyone caught her slip-up.

"Yeah, so how about you move along now?" Zeel added.

"But that would be no fun," Cameron insisted.

Deathbloom went straight up to the front desk, half regretting leaving Zeel alone with the two boys.

"Excuse me, sir," she asked the man at the desk, "when is the next open time slot for a song."

He flipped through a schedule and looked back up at her. "Actually, no one's put in for a song for a while, so right when the girl up on stage is done, there'll be an open spot."

"I'd like that." She pulled twenty dollars out of her bra and set it on the desk. "Will this do? I'll request...ah, 'Take A Hint.'"

"Which version? The cl-"

"Clean, obviously! There are little kids here!"

"And your name?"

"Deathbloom. And I'll be singing it with another girl, Zeel."

Rolling her eyes, she headed back to the table where she was originally sitting.

"I'll admit that most of the problems that we're forced into together are entirely my fault," Deathbloom said, "but it's all your fault this time Zeel."

"My fault?! Wha-"

"Now it's time for Deathbloom and Zeel to sing 'Take A Hint,'" the announcer announced.

Deathbloom stood up and dragged Zeel onstage by her wrist. She handed the microphone to Zeel so she could start it off.

"Why am I always hit on

By the boys I never like?

I can always see 'em comin'

From the left and from the right."

Deathbloom took the mic back and sang the next verse.

"I don't wanna be a priss.

I'm just try'na be polite,

But it always seems to bite me in the..."

The demon girl pulled the alien so her voice as well as her friend's would be heard.

"Ask me for my number,

Yeah, you put me on the spot.

You think that we should hook up,

But I think that we should not.

You had me 'Hello,'

Then you opened up your mouth

And that is when it started goin' south.


Get your hands off my hips

Or I'll punch you in the lip.

Stop your starin' at my-"

They both smacked their butts as they yelled the next word of the song.


Take a hint, take a hint!

No, you can't but me a drink!

Lemme tell you what I think.

I think you could use a mint.

Take a hint, take a hint!

T-take a hint, take a hint!"

Zeel took the microphone from Deathbloom and jumped onto the two girls' table. She danced perfectly, singing the next two lines to the two boys.

"I guess you still don't get it,

So let's take it from the top."

She threw the microphone back to her friend, who caught it and picked up where the alien girl left off.

"You asked me was my sign is,

And I told you it was Stop."

She tossed it back to Zeel.

"And if I had a dime

For every name that you just dropped,"

She jumped back onto the stage so she could sing the next part as a duet.

"You'd be here and I'd be on a yacht.


Get your hands off my hips

Or I'll punch you in the lip.

Stop your starin' at my-"

Both girls hit their rear ends as they did the first time they sang the line and yelled the next word even louder than they had the first time.


Take a hint, take a hint!

No you can't buy me a drink!

Lemme tell you what I think.

I think you could use a mint.

Take a hint, take a hint!

T-take a hint, take a hint!

What about 'no' don't you get?

So go and tell your friends

I'm not really interested."

Zeel sang the next line and Deathbloom sang two lines after it.

"It's about time that you're leavin'."

"I'm gonna count to three and

Open my eyes and you'll be gone."

Then Deathbloom did the counting and Zeel did the singing.


"Get your hands off my-"


"Or I'll punch you in the-"


"Stop your starin' at my-"

Both girls hit their rears once again, shouted out the next word, and finished the song together.


Take a hint, take a hint!

I am not your missing link!

Lemme tell you think.

I think you could use a mint.

Take a hint, take a hint!

Take a hint, take a hint!


Get your hands off my hips

Or I'll punch you in the lip.

Stop your starin at my-


Take a hint, take a hint!

T-take a hint, take a hint!"

"I assume you boys were too clueless to be able to even catch that huge hint we just set out for you," Deathbloom said, but she didn't seem mad at all. "So here's an even clearer one." She pulled Zeel closer to her and kissed her and flipped off Trevor and Cameron while doing so.

The girls sat back down at the table after their six-second kiss and shoved the boys over.

"We're both lesbian," Zeel lied. "And we definitely like it just fine this way."

Trevor and Cameron scrambled off to who-cares-where, leaving the the two friends together by themselves.

"That wasn't...completely awful," Zeel admitted.

"I, uh...might be willing to go on a pretend date with you some time..." Deathbloom slowly said.

"We should definitely do that."

"Definitely! But only to get a taste of what it's like to be lesbian."

Zeel nodded. "Yeah. And there's no one else I'd rather roleplay being in a gay with relationship than you."

"We're still both entirely straight, though, promise?"


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