Warning: ZAER, DACR, ZADF and EACF.



At 4:30 in the morning an eager Dib Membrane bounded out the comfort of his bed and quickly rushed to get ready for his end-of-Summer 7th grade feild trip. Normally, one may not really be that excited about merely a feild trip, but this was a trip to DC! Again, not many kids really cared or only went because it was a reason to miss school for a day but he had never really experienced being in another state so he had been planning for this ever since his teachers mentioned it back in December before winter break. Now dressed in a brand new shirt with his trademark nuetral face except with an American flag pattern and 'DC' printed under it in black, the normal trench coat, black pants, and knee-high boots he admired his reflection breifly before checking his bag just in case for the 20thtime... "Dib! Did you use all the hot water again?!" Gaz shouted from the bathroom, voice rising with anger.

"Sorry Gaz! I just couldn't stop thinking about DC!" Dib apologised back, completely unfazed.

"I'm gonna kick you in your DC." Gaz muttered enough for Dib to hear.

"Nice one, Gaz!" he laughed and walked downstairs, not even his sister's threats could ruin today. He gulped down a glass of milk and a cookie before returning into the living room with a small draw-string bag filled with snacks that would probably cause the Tallests to bow down to him.

"Don't want to go starving on the bus ride, would we?" he asked himself. "Who are you talking to?" Gaz demanded, now dressed but her hair was still down in a soaking wet mat of purple.

"No-one, just myself." Dib blushed a little from embarrasment.

"Hey... who ate the last cookie?!" Gaz growled from the kitchen.

Dib grabbed his bag, his money, his keys, and left the house faster than you could say, RUN!

Gaz stamped her foot in frustration and then headed back upstairs nonchalontly. ~!!!!~

Dib took his time walking since the Midul Skool wasn't too far from his house and it was only 5:30, about an hour earlier than the time he should arrive. Along his way he walked by a certain heavily-knome-gaurded house quickly, hoping not to run into it's resident.

"Dib-stink! Get off my lawn!"

Dib sighed then mantained another smiling, he sarcastically said, "Good morning to you too Zim."

"It most certainly isn' t a good morning! Do you not notice the percipitation around you?!" Zim snapped pointing a safe distance from under his shelter, a newly-added awning.

Dib laughed, "Heh. Didn't even notice."

"Why are you in such a good mood? It makes my spooch churn to see you smile. And not in a good way." Zim asked.

"The DC feild trip, duh! Or did you not make plans to come?" Dib responded smirking.

Zim glared and bared his teeth into a growl, "Of course I did, stupid! Just.. not in this weather." he suddenly got very quiet and stepped even further into his door-way, noticing his cowardice he straigtened up and continued, "But, that does not matter, Zim is still coming and no filthy Earth rain is going to stop him!"

"Right... okay then Zim. See you at the skool at 6:30 then." and with that said, Dib turned on his heel and walked off leaving the shocked Irken invader to stare narrowly at the back of his (big) head.

"Psh! That sneaky human! I'll show him! I would NEVER turn down such a fine oppurtunity to get closer to Earth's leader themselves!" Zim laughed at the mere thought, "Like I said to him, no amount of rain will make me turn my back on this!!"

"How about a storm?" Computer spoke up causing Zim to jump.

Zim walked back into the house and slammed the door after him.

"Was that really neccessary?" Computer asked his master rehtorically.

"Yes, now what did you say about a storm?" Zim crossed his arms.

"There might be one in DC, today." Computer said, sounding bored.

"And you did not tell me this earlier, why?!" The Irken clenched his fists.

"Uh... I didn't really care." Computer said finally making Zim twitch his eyes in disgust.

"You are a horrible excuse of a super-computer."

"Oh yeah! Well! You're an horrible excuse of an invader!" the Computer fired back.

"What do you mean by that?!" Zim stepped forward his PAK legs shooting out from behind his back as he folded into a fighting stance, magenta eyes sparking with anger. A 'dying' sound came afterwards and Zim shot back up, folding his metal appendages back inside his PAK, "That's what I thought." ~!!!!~

"Master! Where yah goin'?!" GIR asked with curiousity when he found his master in the door-way with his disguise on and a jacket with a hood and purple umbrella.

"On a feild-trip GIR, I'll be gone for a while so.. try your best not to destroy the place, expose us, or harm yourself." Zim commanded sternly.

"OKAY!" GIR nodded wildly and started spazzing randomly before he sat on the couch and turned on the TV to the Scary Monkey Show.

Zim smiled approvingly then headed outside into the dreaded rain for the Midul Skool. ~!!!!~

"Dib Membrane!" Ms. Bitters' voice called on the overcom of the gym where all the 7th grade students were being situated and assigned buses.

"Here!" Dib shouted back, excitedly as he ran over to the assigning table where his homeroom teacher, Ms. Bitters sat, unwelcomingly glaring at each student that stood up to the desk.

"You are partners with... Zim, go find him."

"WHAT?!" Dib shouted at the top of his lungs with a horrified expression on his face.

"NEXT!" Ms. Bitters called ignoring his cry.

Dismissed, Dib sulked over to the green bleachers, causing some nearby kids to get up and walk away. He hung his head low, but hey, it's still DC, right?

"Hey, Dib. You okay?" asked Ceriz who was standing over him, a concerned look on her face.

"Yeah, I'm fine. But guess who my partner is?" Dib smiled at her weakly as she sat down next to him.

"Zim? Oh that hurts..." Ceriz frowned.

"Yeah, but it's DC! And not even he will ruin today for me!" Dib proclaimed raising a fist.

"That's the spirit! And plus you have En and I to keep you company! We'll walk with you guys if you'd like!" Ceriz offered.

Dib's smile widened, "Really?! That would be awesome! Thanks Ceriz."

"No problem, Dib." she waved it off and walked away to find En. But with a sudden slam of the doors his smile slowly faded when a green-skinned 'kid' walked in with a alarmed look on his face, which returned the smile back to Dib's face. He hopped off the bleachers and ran to greet his partner, "Hey, Zim, got stuck in the rain?"

Zim jumped a mile before turning and glaring at his nemesis, "Yes, but that is none of your concern, I came ready for this and not even you and your Dib-ness can stop me!"

Dib hushed the alien down, annoyed, "Yeah, whatever Zim, look I don't know how to crack this to you but... we're partners."

"PARTNERS?! WITH YOU?! NEVER! I WOULD- YOU SICK- BLAH!" Zim shrieked his lavender-blue 'eyes' shrinking into slits.

"No Zim! Not that 'partners' FEILD-TRIP PARTNERS!" Dib wanted to slap the living lights out of Zim for making that reference.

"Oh well, that's not half as bad as what I thought you meant, but still pretty filthy bad! Who made this desicion! I'D like to give them a talk." he shot looks all around.

"Ms. Bitters." Dib said plainly.

"Oh." Zim's shoulders slumped and he glared at the ground.

"Look, I'm not happy at all about this but as long as you keep your plans and evil junk away from me we'll both be just fine!" Dib raised his head in a defiance glare down at him.

"Good! And you keep your germs and para-chuting stuff at a safe distance from Zim as well and we'll get along very nicely as well. Well at least you wont have to worry about me sawing your legs off while you're sleeping..." Zim shifted his eye-connection before returning to look back into Dib's hazel ones.

"So de we have a deal?" Dib stretched out a hand.

Zim flinched slightly before narrowing his eyes back into a glare and reluctantly shaking it slowly, "Deal."

"Well that's a relief. Look, En. Looks like Dib and Zim have set aside their differences for a day." Ceriz joked.

"Wrong! I made no difference-asiding with the Dib, only a deal that he keep his smelly human self away from my plans!" Zim barked at her.

"That's still putting aside your differences sort of, Zim." En pointed out.

"SHUT-UP! No-one asked you!" Zim screamed before marching off somewhere.

When he was seemingly alone in the recently abandoned boys P.E. locker-room he rambled on to himself, "That stinking human! WHY must he always be in my business!? WHY can't he just accept the inevitable?! BECAUSE HE'S FOOLISH, THAT'S WHY! RGH! Him and his PARA-KEETING... STUFF..! I will take no more of it today! He WILL NOT be the reason that I failed to collect information on this planet! NO-ONE WILL BE! NO-ONE WILL EVER STOP ZIM!"

Suddenly, Jojn, the new kid walked out of a stall, startling Zim as he watched wide-eyed at the boy. "Freak.." Jojn said silently then trotted out. Zim composed himself and repeated in a mocked tone, "Freak.." then stomped out the locker-room to see Dib, En, and Ceriz standing right in front of him.

"You ready?" Dib asked, obviously annoyed.

"Yes." Zim replied, equally unamused.

"Wow, it just got tense." En murmured breaking the wave of hatred radiating from the two boys.

"Let's just go. We do not want to be late, right?" Zim suggested and without waiting for the others, walked off towards the doors leading to the parking spaces where the buses were at.

"Wait, Zim! We can't go out yet." Dib warned but Zim just waved him off and walked out. A couple of minutes later her reappeared out of thin air looking like he was still walking, "EH?! WHAT IS THIS?!" Dib and the girls all exchanged shocked glances and cracked up into a laughing fit, "Well that's new.." Dib said between a laugh.

"Haha. I'm glad you three think it's funny." Zim folded his arms over his chest.

"But really what was that?" En asked.

"Beats me." DIb shrugged and the four regrouped together on the benches waiting for the others to get assigned, finally in 10 minutes Ms. Bitters came back on the intercom.

"The following need to go to Bus 1, Jack and Hana, Jessica and Zita, Mackenzie and Kim, Onyc and Cecelia, Arin and Jenny..." the list went on forever and finally everyone on Bus 1 was situated. Next the teacher read Bus 2, but that's not really important who's on that.

"The following need to go to Bus 3.." a couple of group names later, inculding En and Ceriz later, Zim and Dib were called up and they walked to the large red single-decker bus with only a top deck making Dib grin, he always loved sitting at the very top and now he didn't have to settle for bottom.

"Stop smiling, we haven't even gotten out of here yet." Zim ordered and snapped in Dib's face.

"I don't care, I'm just happy we get to sit on the top." Dib admitted, Zim gave him a look then turned to look at the bus.

"Is there not only a top deck?" Zim sneered.

"Well, duh, that's why I'm happy!" Dib jumped.

Zim gave him another look, before looking forward again, "You humans confuse me sometimes." ~!!!!~

Once seated and situated all the students brought out their iPods, phones, and devices. Some took out snacks and hungrily devoured them, but Dib just sat there sinking in the feeling of readyness, as next to him, Zim tapped his three-fingers impatiently (not to mention abnoxiously) against the arm rest.

"What is taking so long?! COME ON FILTHY HUMAN DRIVER WE ARE WASTING PERFECT DC TIME!" Zim shouted, thankfully everyone was too into their devices and food to notice.

Zim, defeated, sat up and went back to tapping his foot. Finally Ms. Bitters and Ms. Hacker got on the bus and got seated in the first passenger seats in the front.

"Why do we even do this, they don't deserve it." Ms. Bitters asked Ms. Hacker who unloaded her Nook from her bag and smiled.

"Easy, Ms. Bitters, to get away from teaching them for a day, let the museums do that, while we dine out and hang." Ms. Hacker replied.

"I suppose you're right." Ms. Bitters ended the conversation and tuned back torwards the students, "QUIET!!!"

Even Zim stopped his tapping and immedeatly gave his scary teacher his full attention as everybody else (who had a brain).

"Watch this, it's 'proper adequette on the bus'." she said and sat back down, as the video played and the bus driver got ready to depart.

Zim took one look at the video and instantly lowered his eyes back to his feet, there was nothing useful on the screen for him to watch. Dib saw Zim do this and resumed his preparing as he took out a book titled, Aliens Do Exist; How to Find Them by A Complete Idiot.


"You don't have anything better to do than kick the back of my seat, Zim?" En asked, turning around to face him.

He narrowed his eyes then smirked, "No, En-monkey, Zim only does this out of pure enjoyment I would definantly not do anything else."

"Dib tought you sarcasm I see." En nodded.

Zim rolled his eyes, "Zim learns himself, not by some stupid human, especially not the Dib human." he shot a glare at the boy, who was too into his book to notice. He sighed, defeated again, then went back to kicking En's seat.

"Zim! Really?!" she snapped turning to face him again.

"Yes! Really! I'm bored, there's nothing to do! I can't even bother Dib and I'm miserable!" Zim whined.

"It's not the end of the world, plus you are bothering someone..." En trailed off.

"Who?" Zim asked obvious.

"ME!" she growled and slammed herself back into her seat.

Zim shrugged and went back to kicking.


A couple of minutes later, Dib stopped reading and now was snacking on some chips, causing Zim to scoot a little farther away from him, earning a smirk and a digustingly large chomp from a satisfied Dib. Zim, arms crossed, and seething with anger jumped up when something hit the side of his head, a goldfish cracker.

"WHO?!" he demanded.

Dib looked up at the alien shaking his head, "Oh no..."


"Zim.. sit-down.." Dib growled through clenched teeth.

"I do not take orders from YOU, Dib-stink!" Zim was interrupted when a familiar shadow loomed over him, instantly shutting him up.

"Zim, take a seat unless you want to be kicked off the bus while it's still moving." Ms. Bitters commanded and Zim sat down obediantly.

"Heh. Teacher's pet." Ceriz snickered.

Zim gave a firm kick to the back of her seat and she stopped laughing to shoot him a nasty look.

Smirking, the Irken, leaned back in his chair and rested his head in his fists. This was going to be a long trip...


Dib shook Zim, who kept letting his head fall backwards, repeatedly dozing off.

"Zim, I'm not gonna keep doing this, here." he handed Zim the book.

"I-I don't feel like... READING... Dib-wor-" Zim nodded off again and Dib shook him (again).

"Not to read." he placed the book in Zim's lap, "To slap yourself with it." Zim's eyes narrowed in a sleepy glare, "Dib- j-erk.."

Happy, Dib tapped Ceriz's shoulder, "As soon as Zim falls asleep let's do something to him!"

"First, that sounded wr-ong. And second, he's a light sleeper, he is Irken remember?" Ceriz said.

"I can h-ear every word you're saying.. D-DIB!" Zim shouted as he shot up only to return back into a slumped figure.

"Just, go to sleep if you're tired, Zim. It wont kill you." En said.

"N-no way! Zim needs no..." finally silent the Irken fell asleep altogether and none of them dared to bother him.


Zim woke up to a blurry world of blue, purple, and yellow. His brow knitted in confusion as he shook his head to clear the image, he was staring at the back of En's chair. He sat up and looked around him. His eyes set on Dib who was watching his every move.

"What time is it?" Zim asked.

Dib raised in eyebrow in shock, he must be still half-asleep, "10:26."

"Only?" Zim said in equal shock.

"Yep." Dib nodded. "Ugh.. if we took a voot cruiser we would be there.. in minutes!" Zim groaned and mantained his former position of having his head on his fists.

"You fell asleep." Dib spoke up.

Zim's eyes narrowed, "No, dip."

"That's new." Dib arched an eyebrow.

"I like to keep up with the Earth teen's pop cultures and whatnot." Zim waved around his wrist dismissively.

"Well pretty productive of you." Dib commented.

Zim shot a glare his way, "Why are we even talking to each other?"

"I don't really know, I was bored, and you just woke up." Dib shrugged head now on top of his fist like Zim, the alien noticed this and folded his arms in his lap.

"How are you bored? You have that stupid book." Zim pointed at the now closed blue book in Dib's overflowing bag.

"I finished it." Dib looked down breifly.

"Stop staring at me." Zim said quietly.

Dib took his eyes off of Zim and then looked out the window, watching the rain and trees, trees, trees, rain, rain, rain, car, car, car,trees, trees, trees...

Zim followed his gaze, "Now what are you looking at?"

"The rain... and the trees... and the cars...." Dib answered shifting his eyes at each object and repeating.

Zim soon found himself doing the same and playing a 'Blue Car, Red Car' game with him.

"Red." Zim pointed a gloved finger across Dib's face and to the cool glass.

Dib frowned, he barely saw any blue cars. Finally both boys took a double take when both their colors came into veiw in a blur.



"That was so blue, Zim!"

"No, it was most definantly red, Dib-lies!"

"That was a new one."



"QUIET!" Zim and Dib looked at each other, then back out the window.

"You both were wrong, it was a police car." En said.

"You saw that too?" Ceriz asked eyeing the two from her seat in front of them.

"Yeah." Dib nodded as he silently pointed at a dark blue van.

Zim pointed at a red-colored eighteen wheeler, "Do trucks count?"

"Sure." Dib accepted.

En and Ceriz giggled, "We'll just leave you two to your game."

"Yeah yeah." Zim waved them off dismissively.

En laughed again and finally put on her earbuds to listen to We Are Young.


"What time is it NOW?" Zim asked.

"Well exactly... 10 minutes... from the last time you last asked... 10:50." but the boy's narrowed eyes turned into wide ones and then a huge smile placed itself on his face as he hunched over his shocked partner's body and shouted, "WE'RE HERE!!!"

En, Ceriz and the lot of the bus wooted and whistled, even if the comment was said by Dib.

A sharp finger poked Dib's chest, "Uh.. could you PLEASE get OFF of me." Zim snarled as he glared up at Dib.

"Sorry." Dib quickly apologised but didn't take his eyes off of the Washington Monument, not only just the monument of Washington but the monument of the first thing Dib saw in DC.

"Alright, class, listen CAREFULLY. We will be telling you the places where you are allowed to go to and other things. Please chaperones take out your maps." Ms. Bitters announced as she stood up.

The chaperones did so and both students and adults had her full attention.

"The first stop we will be dropping students off will be at the Memorials. The following memorials you will be allowed to visit is the Vietnam Memorial, the World War II Memorial, the Korean War Memorial and the Lincon Memorial. I'm pretty sure Mrs. Hunter and Mr. Mailes already clarified that but we're still going over it one last time." Ms. Bitters said.

"Okay, Zim, we have to figure out our game plan." Dib said to Zim, who ignored him.

"Zim! This is serious! We have to plan!" Dib whispered and yanked Zim's towards him, the alien shot a glare his way, "Let me go."

"Not unless you listen to me!" Dib yanked harder.

"You know that doesn't hurt, it's just annoying." Zim replied and snatched his arm back, "Fine."

"What war memorial do you want to go to?" Dib asked.

"The Stupid Humans Lost To The Almightly Irken Empire Memorial." Zim joked, however Dib did not find it funny and gave Zim a deadpan face.

"No, Zim, a REAL war memorial." he shoved the list in Zim's face.

"Get that thing out of my face!" Zim growled and sliced at the paper with his claw-like fingers.


"FINE! I pick the er, Vietnam War Memorial." Zim decided.

Dib circled the place on the map adding a 1 to it.

"I see that most of you have choosen so, we are going on to stop number 2. The Holocaust Musuem. It is newly added, and UNLESS you can control yourself don't even dare set foot in there. It is very serious subject and your child-like attention spans will more than likely find a way to make yourselves and the skool look bad. So recollect yourself before you even decide. Because if I hear one word from you while in there, you will be sent to this bus and will receive a failing grade. THAT'S how serious this is." Ms. Bitters continued.

Dib looked at Zim and already knew the answer, "Zim? Do you want to got there?"

"Yes." Zim nodded.

"Are you sure?"


"No screaming, glaring at random people, and most definantly no evil laughing." Dib said sternly.

"Yes, I know. I'm not stupid, Dib. I know what that museum is about." Zim glared at him.

"Okay, then." Dib nodded and circled the Holocaust Musuem and added a 2 next to it.

"Very well then. The 3rd stop will be the Air and Space Museum. Most of you, I've experienced, will be going there."

Zim's anntenae shot up from under his wig, "Air and Space? I need no further information, Dib! Mark it!"

"Already did it, the Air and Space Musuem looks so cool!" Dib kicked his feet excitedly.

Zim gave him a look before returning his attention back to Ms. Bitters who continued, "From there you can walk to the Hishorn Museum, the National Museum of the American Indian and if you REALLY want to walk, the United States Capitol Building."

"Any of those Zim?" Dib asked.

"No. They all sound boring." Zim waved him off (again).

"Okay." Dib sat back as they passed the Washington Memorial and into a whole parking lot full of cars and buses.

"The final stop will be the American History Museum which is required since you will be answering post-feild trip questions on it tomorrow in your history class. From there you have the more interesting museums, the National Gallery of Art and the Natural History Museum. As you all know the Natural History Museum has dinosaur fossils, even I would suggest it." Ms. Bitters then took her seat, "You have a couple of minutes to figure out your plans for today. Starting now! GO!"

All the partners got to planning as Zim and DIb just sat quietly.

Ms. Bitters noticed this and glared down at them, "Have you two planned?"

"Yes, Ms. Bitters we just got done with that." Dib answered.

"Okay." she said and moved on.

The bus finally stopped, "First stop for the Monuments."

Zim and Dib looked at each other, their eyes asked, "Monuments?"

"Alright. No-one's going." Ms. Bitters said as she searched. The bus kept riding on. After half an hour of this the group of our four friends/allies/enemies got fed up and Ceriz finally said, "Ms. Bitters! SIR! Could one of you stop?!"

"What is the meaning of this?" Ms. Bitters snapped.

"We've went in a HUGE circle for half an hour now! Just drop us off here." Ceriz said and signaled En, Zim and Dib to follow.

The group gathered their things and were greeted by the ground and rain. Zim freaked for a second before pulling his purple umbrella out. The others did the same.

"Well.. I guess we're on our own." En shrugged.


There was silence.

"LET'S GO! I AM NOT ENJOYING JUST STANDING HERE!" Zim announced and the group walked off.

"Monuments...?" Dib and Zim both wondered.



"Why didn't you say anything, stupid?!" Ceriz whacked Zim upside the head with her umbrella not only had the blow land Zim with a headache but also sprayed him with rain-water that collected on it. Zim growled distastefully, and got back to his feet, "Look, human, I am not the only one to blame! Dib-worm thought of it too and didn't say anything!"

"You did?!" Ceriz gasped then gave Dib a whack for good measure.

"Ow! Sorry! The driver said 'monuments'! Not memorials! Monuments, so don't blame me! Blame the driver!" Dib dusted off the water droplets from his trench coat.

"Guys, Dib is right, it was the bus driver's fault. Now can we just please keep walking? We shouldn't be too far from the Vietnam Memorial." En interrupted and walked ahead of them.

"Wait, En, Dib has the map!" Ceriz called before En walked too far ahead, she turned on her heel back and stalked towards the group.

"This is a rediculous, Earth map!! Where are the coordinates on this thing?!" Zim cried grabbing the map.

"This isn't a ship map, Zim." Dib said and snatched the map back, "It doesn't have coordinates."

"Pff! Then it does us no good!" Zim marched away, un-noticed as the rest of the group studied the map.

"Okay... so.. if we're here and we're trying to get there. Then... which way do we go?" En asked.

"It says go that way. Back towards..." Dib pointed and his face fell.

"THE MONUMENT?!" they all cried in exasperation.

"How many times are we gonna see this thing?!" En shouted.

"I don't know, but we're wasting precious time that we don't have! Let's move!" Ceriz announced, and the group marched off (no not literally).

"I'VE GOT A MAP! ZIM'S GOT A MAP!" Zim ran to them, waving a peice of paper frantically with his unoccupied hand.

"We don't need one Zim, now let's go." En said.

Zim snarled in disgust, "The one time I do something for you smelly beings...!"

"Let me see that anyways." Dib seized the paper from Zim's claws and studied it.

"Zim! You stupid alien! This is a brochure!" he threw the paper to the ground where it immedeatly went soggy.

"The human said it was a 'map to your dreams'! Well MY dream is to GET to the Earth officials, and that's here!" Zim said defensively.

Dib slapped a hand to his face and dragged it downward in a slow motion.

"That made your face look uglier than normal." Zim flinched.

"Zim, you MORON, THAT WAS AN ADVERTISEMENT SAYING! Look at it! It's a RESORT brochure!" Dib finally yelled.

"Guys." En tried to interrupt yet again.

"Well, excuse me, Dib-stink I'm just trying to get us TO THE PLACES WE NEED TO GO!" Zim bellowed back, waving his arms for effect (though it made him look more like an idiot).

"GUYS." En spoke louder.

"We dont need your TRYING! I mean HELP!" Dib barked back as he advanced on Zim who was stepping back.

"GUYS!" En shouted.

"Then DON'T ask for it!" Zim shoved Dib backwards.

"Did you just lay your grimy alien claws on me space-boy?!" Dib spat and shoved Zim back.

"Oh... this is pit-ti-ful! Ceriz laughed.

En however was starting to get annoyed. "GU-UYS!" she started again.

"Maybe Zim did, or maybe he didn't!" Zim pushed him again, but harder which caused the boy almost fall into the street.

"Oh YOU'RE DEAD, IRKEN!" Dib jumped on Zim and tackled him to the wet ground.

Zim shrieked in pain before trying to claw at Dib.

"YOOOOOO!!!!" En yelled at the top of her lungs.

Before they could lay another hand on each other Zim and Dib stopped and looked up at En.

"Would you look at yourselves?! You two looked like you were having a chic-fight on the skool play-ground. Now get up and let's get going." En ordered and walked off to catch of with Ceriz, who seemed to be speed-walking. For good measure both boys stuck their tongues out as each other and got to their feet, grabbed their umbrellas, and met up with Ceriz and En.


"The path just ended..." Ceriz whispered as they were faced with a fence.

"What do you mean, the path ended?" Zim barked from the back of the group.

"It just ended, there's no sidewalk left." En explained.

"Then how do we get to the other side?" Dib asked.

"There's enough foot space to walk along the wall thing." Ceriz pointed out. And so there they were, looking like complete tourists.

"We look stupid." Zim grouched, and they did, they looked like they were making some corny spy movie or reenacting that one scene from The Polar Express.

"Wait! STOP!" Ceriz cried and everyone looked even more rediculous as they almost lost their balance and looked scared when they wobbled even though they were an inch off the ground.

"What is the meaning of this?!" Zim was the first to ask.

"That." Ceriz pointed and blocking the rest of their path a cement block... wall...? Not even I knew...

"So what now?" Dib inquired.

"Guess we're crossing the street." En suggested as she hopped off the curb and nearly walked in on incoming traffic.

"Hold up, En. The people's drving here is crazy, at least that's what everyone's been telling me. So be careful." Dib warned as he grabbed her shoulders.

"Guys! There aren't any cars, let's go!" Ceriz pointed and they hurriedly ran across the street to the other sidewalk.

"YES!" En suddenly exclaimed, everyone gave her a look.

"It wasn't that much of a risk, En-monkey... we just crossed the street." Zim cocked an (imaginary) eyebrow.

"NO! Not that! THAT!" En pointed ahead and Dib squinted his eyes to see, his face lit up, "It's the World War II Memorial!"

"That's right! WHOO-HOO!" En started dancing.

"I thought we were going to the Vietnam Memorial?" Zim looked at the two confused.

"We are! It's just that we're close! We're actually CLOSE!" En grabbed the alien by the shoulders and shook him violently causing him to go wall-eyed for a moment before he blinked and glared at her, "Unhand me."

"Sorry!" she apologized quickly and ran towards the familiar memorial. Dib followed and Ceriz looked at Zim and shrugged who just kept an irritated look on his face.

"Alright! So now that we know where we are we can find out where to go." En said and ran over to Dib who already had the map out again.

"Keep going ahead it looks like it!" Dib announced as they walked in silent glee.


"Zim's not very good at Earth time at this moment, but I'm pretty sure we've been walking for A LONG TIME." the Irken said as he stopped suddenly.

"I'm with Zim on this one, Dib. We should be there by now." En nodded.

"But the map says just keep going straight, they're right next to each other!" Dib said.

"Okay, let me see this map." Ceriz said and for the fourth time that day Dib got the map yanked from his grasp.

"Guys, this map is wrong." Ceriz shook her head.

"But it's a map, Ceriz, so it'll still help us." En said and got the map back, "If you think the map is false then show us to where the Vietnam Memorial is."

"I will!" Ceriz declared, quite proud of herself then marched off with the group following behind.

"We're are so getting lost." En mumbled but followed anyways.


"Why whenever you lead you lead us to a dead end?" En asked as they were stopped by a wall of cement... thingys from before.

"I don't know. Let's go ask that guy right there!" Ceriz pointed at a worker who was getting out of his truck.

"Excuse me sir. Hi, can you help us. We're tourists and really don't know where we're going. We're trying to get to the Vietnam Memorial." En waved and started talking as she got closer to him.

"I think I can help you with that. I just need a map." he said, Ceriz handed him her map but he declined and fetched one from his truck.

"Let's see you guys are here and... hm... you're gonna have to go right and then take a left then hook around then a left then another left and then you're gonna go into a col-de-sac and then walk around in little circles alright then you gonna pass by the monument and then you keep going straight and then you follow the path the wind is blowing and then you times that by the heat radiation of the sun and then you take a left and then finally a right."

Everyone stared at him, slack-jawed.

"You kids go have fun and good luck! Even though you're better off just going to the museums, they're closer. Okay, bye!" he waved and before the team could snap out of their trance he was gone.

"That.. that was horrible directions." Zim finally snarled lowly.

"Okay, that man was no help at all I can't even remember what he said, true or not!" Dib shouted after his comment.

"Look guys, we can just skip the Vietnam Memorial... apparently we just can't find it and we are just wasting out time. Another day we'll see it but today... we go the Air and Space musuem. Who's with me?" En raised her hand waiting for the others to follow.

Each one of them shot their arm in the air and nodded.

"En-monkey is right, we are wasting precious time that could be spent getting to the Earth officials!" Zim pounded his fist.

"You're planning to go to the White House aren't you, Zim?" Dib asked, curious.

"Of course, Dib-worm where else can I go?!"

"True." Dib said and returned his attention back to the map, "Let's just walk down here and see where it brings us."

Everyone shrugged or nodded and kept walking slowly they became more aware of their surroundings, finally they all groaned in disgust out of theirselves. They had walked another WHOLE CIRCLE, AGAIN! They stopped in the back of the Holocaust museum.

Dib, outraged tried to tear the map apart, but couldn't, he just slammed the thing to the ground and stomped on it in pure anger, his face red.

"Whoah Dib, calm down. At least we know where we're going." Ceriz offered hopefully.

"Yes, but for an hour we spent out time WALKING. IN. A. CIRCLE." Dib growled.

"Well we can keep walking, because you stink-beasts WILL NOT be the reason Zim has to miss out on another beautiful attempt at getting major world information!" Zim stepped to the front, fists on hips in a defiant pose, everyone blinked, "WELL are you just going to stand around and look like bigger idiots than you are or are you going to follow me? Because I plan to go somewhere."

"He has a valid argument." En pointed out, "TEAM HUDLE!" Soon the rest of the group were huddled together speaking amongst themselves, Zim glared impatiently, "I can hear you, you know, now stop fooling around and give me an answer!" the whole time the team had been whispering breakfast items to make it look like they were really thinking about it.

"Okay Zim, on one condition!" Dib finally announced.

"What is this? Skool? Go ahead." Zim rolled his eyes for the umpteenth time that day.

"Well uh, it technically is actually... but that's NOT the point.. anyways if you get us lost then you have admit that you failed us and say that I was the better guide than you."

Zim shuddered in pure distaste, just thinking about uttering those words from his mouth made him want to cut his tongue off, then he recovered and agreed, "Okay Dib, what if I DON'T get us lost and actually get us somewhere? Then what?"

Dib looked around nervously, there was a slight chance Zim could get them where they needed to go but he sighed and complied to the alien's wishes, "Fine. If you win. I guess you can try and get to the White House... or whatever your stupid self wants to go to."

"SUPERIOR self, Dib! SUPERIOIR!" Zim proclaimed, "Than I guess we should start going, shouldn't we?"

"Lead the way, space-boy."

"You're still using that horrible insult?"


"At least I can get original with mine."


Zim glanced back at the group nervously, nothing at all was looking familiar to him, even after that stupid project thing that Mrs. Hunter assigned to him with locating the museums he had trouble remembering them.

"What's wrong Zim? Give up already?" Dib asked tauntingly.

"No! I'm just taking in the sights is all." Zim snapped back, defensively.

"Yeah sure... there was a lot to take in with that lamp post, Zim." Dib remarked causing the Irken to growl in deep fury.

"It was quite a lamp post wasn't it, human?" he shot back, weakly, he mentally slapped himself for saying that, it was so STUPID.

"Oh that's just... you know what I'm gonna just shut my mouth and relish in the sight of you failing miserably AGAIN." Dib added for good measure, before Zim could shoot him a death glare Dib closed his eyes in a relaxed way a huge smirk planted on his pale face.

Suddenly woman came out of nowhere handing out tube-like objects, smiling and giving each one in the group one.

"What is this?" Zim asked poking at the funny looking object that was held in plastic.

"It's an umbrella!" En shouted happily and unfolded the huge thing over her, it was a perfect size and now she didn't have to use her crappy green mini umbrella.

Interested and quite pleased with the free souvineir the rest of the group opened their's too and soon all you could probably see from a distance was a cloud of blue and white stripes with little feet walking under it.

"Awesome score, don't you think?" Ceriz asked nudging En.

"Sure is! These probably cost like 20 maybe 30 or more. Because they're fairly modern-aged." En pointed at a circular button that opened the umbrella's top.

"True." Ceriz nodded at the comment and sped over to DIb who nonchalontly had his hands stuffed in his pockets, the same smug grin on his face.

"Hey Dib, what are you doin'?" she inquired.

"Oh nothing, just watching Zim fail at another thing."

"Zim is NOT failing Dib-worm!"

"You keep telling yourself that Zim." Dib muttered to Ceriz and they laughed a little until Zim shot them a nasty glare, already fed up with his current predicament.

"Sniveling humans..." he grouched and narrowed his eyes further.


"This is just sad, do you even see any museums around?" Dib sneered.

The new leader with his pride on the line coughed down another growl at another one of the Dib's various insults.

"In fact I-" Zim's eyes windened about 50% when he saw- HEAVEN AT LAST! THE NATURAL MUSEUM OF AFRICAN ART WAS A STRAIGHT SHOT AHEAD! If it wasn't for his aching feet he would have zoomed down there at lightning speed he was THAT happy.

"Oh.. crud.." Dib noticed Zim's gaze and in fact there was the museum right in plain sight, he had lost the bet and now Zim had gained a one-way ticket to victory because of him.

"STUPID!" he cried striking his head with the umbrella handle.

"That's right, Dib-worm, Zim has won, he has found a museum and may now do as he likes. Is that not what you agreed to?" Zim smirked, lavender eyes dancing with malice.

"Yeah, yeah, go frolic in your doom canons and smoke machines..." Dib slunched his shoulders and followed after the aliens and girls who ran ahead in relief.

"I can't believe we FINALLY found someplace!" En breathed in the scent of newly built museum as they walked inside.

"I know right." Ceriz agreed.

"And it's all because of-" Dib was interrupted by a tradmark shout, "ZIM!"

He narrowed his eyes into a dark glare torwards the alien then composed himself and started looking around.


"So, what floor should we see first?" En asked.

"I dunno, the closest one I guess." Dib shrugged, not really caring anymore since Zim was the one who had found the place they were in now.

"Yes, yes, fascinating. Just hurry up, we only have... 3 hours left and I really want to go to the Air and Space." Ceriz said and followed them occasionally snapping a picture or two.

"Floor JUST PICK ONE AND LETS GO." Zim replied sarcastically.

"Okay, let's just go down here and see what we run into." En shook her head at the uninterested others.

"It's really dark in here." Dib pointed out looking up at the dim lighting.

"Maybe for preservation or something." Ceriz suggested.

"What in the heck does lighting have to do with preservation?" Dib looked at her weird.

"I dunno. And I really don't care." Ceriz slumped her shoulders and glared a little at Dib.

"Neither do I. Like you, I want to go to a FUN museum." Dib crossed his arms.


He jumped and turned to a nearby guard, grinning sheepishly, "Not that this isn't fun or anything..."

The guard gave him a hard look.

"Sorry." Dib said flatly and kept walking.

Ceriz watched him walk off and turned to the guard, "He's insane, give him a break."

The guard huffed, "You stupid kids don't know the importance of things if it bit you in the arm."

"I believe the correct term is-"

"CERIZ-HUMAN!" Zim called, being the one that was sent to find her.

"Gotta go." Ceriz waved and ran to Zim, who stood glaring at her.

"Stop talking with the museum humans and catch up." Zim snarled.

"I'm human too yah know." Ceriz pointed out.

"I KNOW that." Zim clenched his fists, hating being told something he already knew.

"Than why do you address them as 'museum-humans' to me, just say guards." Ceriz said.

Zim stopped in his tracks and hissed through his teeth, "Stop talking with the GUARDS then."

"Was that so hard?" Ceriz smiled triumphantly.

"I dont like you." he whispered turning his back to her once more.

"Where have you two been? We can leave now, some snobby guard told me no flash photography RIGHT AFTER I snapped like 5 pictures in front of them." En scorned at her phone.

"At least you got pictures." Ceriz shrugged.

"True. C'mon guys, TO THE AIR AND SPACE! And Zim here, would be happy to do so." En grabbed Zim and quickly arm-hugged him.

"Let. Me. Go." Zim snarled, she did so and glared at her, "And I never agreed to play mother-goose to you worms."

"I think the right term is ducklings since you're the mother goo-."

"SHUT UP! STOP CORRECTING ZIM!" Zim yelled pointing at her furiously.

"Just saying." Ceriz stepped back.

"C'mon Zim, you're so great at it. Why not? Scared this was just a breath of luck?" Dib jeered, poking the alien mockingly.

"You. HORRIBLE. Human. Out of all of your kind I want YOU gone FIRST!" Zim then marched off signaling everyone follow.

"Yeah, tell me something I don't know, Zim." Dib smirked and unfolded his umbrella.


"On here, it says the Air and Space should be approaching quickly. Keep your eyes out for something... 'spacey'." Zim told everyone as they walked down the sidewalk.

"'Spacey'?" En repeated laughing a little.

"Yes, 'spacey'." Zim returned missing the sarcasm as usual.

"Whatever. Just everyone look for possibly something that looks futuristic or as Zim likes to call it 'spacey'." Dib physically put quotation marks on spacey.

"I don't see anything wrong with that term." Zim defended.

"There's a lot of things wrong with that term." Dib replied, smirking more.

"It's just not Zim's day." Zim remarked under his breath as he glared up at the pouring sky.


"Hey, that looks promising." En pointed out a McMeaties stand.

"How is that promising?" Zim asked.

"The teacher said that there's a McMeaties inside and outside the Air and Space." En said.

"I guess it's promising then, onward, to that stand!" Zim announced and the group walked after him.

"Mm, that smells actually good for once." Dib smelled the air, smiling stupidly.

"Hack at me with my own arm." Zim glared and pressed his hands to where his antennae were under his wig.

"So those things help you smell too? WOW! I should start calling you space-bug then." Dib snickered.

The girls followed suit, also finding it quite humorous.

"Oh, you're so funny Dib-worm. Zim asks how did you get such a great sense of humor?" Zim growled sarcastically.

"Obviously not from his sister." Ceriz remarked.

"HEY! DON'T TALK ABOUT MY SISTER!" Dib flushed, pointing at the violet-haired girl.

"Sorry, but we all know it's true, even you." Ceriz pointed out after she yelped in surprise and jumped back a step.

Everyone murmured and nodded.

"Okay, fine, you may be right but watch yourself talking about my family." Dib snapped and turned away.

Ceriz shrank back.

"Nice going, Juliet." En remarked after the whole ordeal.

"Shut-up, En." Ceriz crossed her arms and sighed, letting go of her glare, "I'm doing a horrible job at this whole 'befriend Dib' thing aren't I?"

"Yeah, kinda. But you have Zim's respect, he just doesn't want to admit it."

"There isn't anything to ADMIT. I hate her, and you. You both are annoying." Zim shouted from ahead.

En looked at him before returning back to her friend, "Darn he has good hearing."

"Darn straight." Zim called afterwards.

"What are you, a bat gangster?" En said.

"I come to suck your blood, yo!" Dib joined in as he put his two index fingers at the corner of his mouth to mimic fangs.

They all busted out laughing, except for Zim of course.

"I hate you. I hate you all."

"Hate's a strong word." Ceriz shook a finger.

"Good, because I feel strongly about my DESPISE towards YOU." Zim deadpanned.

"I don't think that was grammatically correct." Ceriz shifted her eyes to En, it was her que.

"GRAMMAR!" En shouted randomly.

Ceriz laughed a little as Dib suppressed a small chuckle.

"Zim's grammer is fine." Zim defended himself again.

"You cant even spell grammar right, it's grammar not grammer." En pointed out.

"Don't blame me, blame the stupid author." Zim pointed upwards.

A/N: Hey! Just for that something else bad is going to happen to you, I pomise that Irken, I DO.

"Great fourth wall-breaking guys, can we just go in the museum now?" Dib pointed at the entrance.

"See! Told you we were close." En smirked.

"Stop talking to the 'author-human' and catch up." Ceriz jeered, mocking Zim's demand as before.

A/N: XD The irony! I LURV IT!

"I hate you." Zim glared upwards, "Both." he added shifting his eyes to Ceriz.

A/N: You have too much hate Zim. Hate's not good.

"99% of me is hate, get use to it." Zim replied.

"Well that needs to change." Ceriz replied.

A/N: Seriously. Well have fun you guys, author out! And Zim, watch out.

"How dare she threaten me, I AM ZIM!" he proclaimed pumping his fists in the air.

"Well, Zim, I'm Ceriz. We've already met, now let's go!" Ceriz ran off to the entrance.

"Let's just get this over with." Zim huffed and followed her, just walking.


"You know, I imagined this place being more interactive." Dib said.

"The only reason it doesn't feel like it is that most of the interactive stuff is blocked off or already being used." En grumbled pointing to a ridiculously long line for a sort of game.

"You're right. Man, I imagined this DC trip to be more exciting than this." Dib whined.

"Quit your whining, Dib-filth. Just be glad we actually got here." Zim replied getting quite into the information written on the wall.

"Enjoying your self, Zim?" En asked.

"If only your name wasn't in that word, I would say yes. This information is quite useful." Zim acknowledged her as he started for another side.

"Useful? How? It's just a bunch of random facts." En inquired giving her acquaintance a look.

"Well, that question answers itself. They're facts. And facts about their spacecrafts. The more updated I am, the better." Zim replied.

"Well... I wouldn't call 1972 updated... but okay." En shrugged and laughed a little under her breath.

Zim realized what she said and turned for a more 'recent' side.

En grinned to herself and walked back towards Ceriz and Dib who were messing around with a 3D image of Earth. They looked absolutely bored.

"Hey love-birds, let's go look at the inside of that place." En pointed at a nook in the fair corner.

"Love-birds?" Dib echoed and narrowed his eyes, "Whatever, let's just go before I loose it."

En led the way to the small space and they had to blink a few times at the sudden bright lights around them.

"Ow. What's with the brights?" Ceriz moaned and rubbed her eyes then blinked at her own question, "That was a stupid thing to ask, wasn't it?"

"Yes, both of them were." Dib said, smiling a little.

"Smart-Alec." Ceriz punched him in the arm.

"That's not my name, don't use it." he shrugged at the abuse of his arm.

"Oh heh, look it this, reserved for Buzz Lightyear." En pointed out a containment unit that had the label in bold letters across the top and snapped a picture.

"That's pretty cool." Dib said and pulled out his own camera, snapped a picture of it and walked towards an encased space-suit taking a few more.

"Hm, Sally. That's... original." En thought about something to say to start another conversation.

It didn't work as the others just ignored her and found something to take pictures of.

"Well, at least they're occupied." En sighed and walked out in search of Zim.

"Hey, greeny." En greeted him.

He growled at the name then just merely shrugged, "Dont call Zim 'greeny' again, unless you have a death-wish."

"I don't but there's really nothing you can do about it. You wouldn't kill me." En pointed out.

Zim glared further, narrowing his eyes more, "Can't you just leave. I'm busy right now."

"Busy doing what exactly?" En asked.

"Dear Irk you are annoying." Zim groaned then sighed, "It's the same answer as 30 minutes ago."

"I take that as a compliment,... greeny." En added for good measure.

Zim was ready to strangle her when the other two stepped out of the place they were in and headed towards them.

"Well, that wasn't that bad." Dib said finally.

"Agreed, now can we go to the gift shop?" Ceriz asked looking at Zim pleadingly.

"No." Zim replied flatly.

"PLEASE!" Ceriz chirped higher.

"NO." Zim remained unfazed.

All three of them looked at each other mischievously.

"PLEASE!" they all begged in unison.

Zim gripped his wig once again and close his eyes shut in annoyance, "YOU'RE ALL WORSE THAN GIR, JUST GO!"

"Nah, there doesn't seem to be anything." Ceriz said as the others agreed, "Plus we don't have any time."

For the slightest of a moment Zim's eye twitched as he said through clenched teeth, "Let's leave then."

"GOOD! I was just going to say that! Im hungry, how about you all?" En asked clasping her hands together.

"Me." Dib and Ceriz said giving Zim triumphant looks as the alien sighed deeply, altogether sick of the whole experience.

"Am I smeetsitting or something?" Zim whispered to himself before complying and leading them towards the back of the museum where a food court was.

"Let's just have McMeaties. Plus I'm not going to eat mine, just throw it on Zim." Dib joked (only partially) and smirked at Zim.

Zim hissed at him.

"How many different things are you felien." Dib commented.

He got stares from all around.

"What, it's supposed to be feline and alien together." Dib explained.

They all 'oh'ed in understanding and kept walking.

Then were stopped by a HUGE line to the McMeaties, not only that but all the seats and table were taken.

"Wow. Guess we're going to have to use the outside one then." Dib snuck another smirk toward the Irken before looking out the clear glass doors.

Zim followed his gaze and shrunk back, it was pouring.

If it wasn't for Dib's enjoyment Zim would have fainted right then and there just to get out of this accursed nightmare.


Zim reluctantly opened the glass doors, momentarily noting the cool feeling it brought him, then it turned to a warm feeling as he felt the deadly drops of acid that was called rain, shower down on him. Oh how lucky he felt for the moment that he had slathered himself in paste that morning.

"Well I don't think you or En are going to get anything since you two get burned by meat so Ceriz and I will see you in a couple of minutes. You can sit wherever," Dib announced then smirked at Zim, "The cold... wet... germy ground if you have to."

Zim twitched his eye angrily at Dib, letting out a deep but brief warning growl, "Just go get your disgusting food."

The boy let out a loud cackle and then gestured for Ceriz to follow him in line. Before she joined him, she smiled wildly at En. En gave her best friend a thumbs up.

"This is not happening..." Zim muttered as he spun around and found every seat taken or dripping wet.

"At least there's umbrellas." En pointed out hopefully.

"This author hates me." he replied flatly, his eyes half-lidded irritatingly.

"Can you two stop breaking the fourth wall for one second while we're gone." Dib snapped from behind as he and Ceriz approached the two with grease-soaked take-out bags.

Zim recoiled in disgust, "Ewww.", his reptilian tongue hanging out sickly.

"What, Zim, can't take a little grease?" Dib sneered.

"I hate you." Zim mumbled and swatted the bag out of his sight, "And keep that drippy-thingy a good five feet away from me at all times."

"They didn't have take-out food on your planet?" Dib asked, genuinely curious.

"Well... yes, there's Foodcourtia." Zim shuddered, "But Zim prefers to not speak of that certain place at this time."

Dib raised an eyebrow then took out a box, he opened it and it revealed a nicely-made cheeseburger, "Wow, this is the first time I actually have one that looks like the picture."

"Take a picture, it'll last longer." Ceriz bumped his arm and pointed to his camera.

"Why didn't you get anything, 'Ceri'?" En asked.

"I mean I got some fries and a drink, I just didn't feel like getting a fatty burger today." Ceriz answered and took another sip of her soda.

"I don't blame you, see, even the human finds her own food revolting." Zim butted in.

"At least she can swallow it without burning a hole through her throat." Dib gave a look to Zim who stuck out his tongue at him, merely.

"Actually... the stuff they put in that stuff I wouldn't be surprised if that happened to me." Ceriz shrugged and eyed Zim with a look like 'you owe me a bail now'.

The Irken smirked, "Hmph. You're starting to grow on me human, STOP IT."

Ceriz shrugged again and turned her attention to En who was tampering with her PAD, "Cool."

"Thanks." En replied and stored the small device back into her PAK.

"So, shall we go now?" Dib asked, giving everyone a questioning glance.

"Sure." En nodded and rose to her feet, Ceriz stretched and then followed after her alien friend.

"Come on, Zim. Time to find the... well nothing. I don't think we have anymore requests around here." Dib shoved Zim out of the chair causing the Irken to fall into a small puddle collecting under the small shelter. Though he had a coat of paste on he still felt a burning sensation as he glared up at Dib, "You have only one life, human, I suggest you try and keep it."

Dib snickered but then chuckled nervously once he saw Zim's angry glare and sadistic smile that told him that the alien was not kidding.

"Someone start walking before I rip off Dib-monkey's face."

And so En did, followed like a puppy by Ceriz, and Dib (after recovering from Zim's maniac expression) scrambled after the two girls, Zim was last once again and fixed his soaking wet wig before pulling over his hoody again and raising the umbrella over his head, "That's what I thought, filthy human."


"I don't think there are any more museums down here. Maybe we should go back." En announced peering down the long street.

"No, we don't have to, plus it's not like we're really missing anything. We have plenty of time to just joke off before we have to go to the American History Museum." Dib said bored, "Plus, I haven't gotten any souvenirs and there are plenty of vendors down here."

"The big-headed boy has a point." Ceriz commented, amusing everyone but the victim of the joke.

"Right, I don't wanna leave DC without a decent souvenir. That would suck." En agreed and continued down the street until they approached a plastic-covered vendor tent.

"That looks promising." Ceriz said as she walked inside, "Very promising. I see a good hundred things that I want already."

"There isn't even a hundred stuff in here." Zim looked around the tent, eying a few novelties in interest. One particular thing caught his eye, "Oh that's pretty, what is it?"

En saw his eye contact and picked up the object, "It's a prism. I think." she handed it to Zim.

The male Irken carefully took hold of the prism and peered at it interestingly, "It has a tiny city in it..."

En laughed under her breath slightly, "Not really. It's supposed to resemble DC."

"How much is it?" Zim asked the seller.

"Five bucks." she replied, bored.

"Hmph. Fine." Zim reached in his pocket and pulled out a five dollar bill.

"How'd you get that?" En asked pointing at the money.

"You don't want to know." Zim shook his head then reached for the black bag that housed his prize, he pulled it out once more and stared at it, almost mesmerized.

"You really like that thing don't you?" En walked over to him.

"It's neat." Zim replied then looked up, "When did you get the head wear?"

"Just a minute ago. Cool ain't it?" En tipped her head down and pointed at the 'NCIS' printed on it.

"The NCIS? You mean the pathetic bigger Earth authorities? Pfft." Zim snorted.

"They're actually quite smarter than the normal humans." En admitted.

"I doubt it." Zim shook his head and boxed the prism, returning it back inside the bag, "Are you others quite done yet?"

"I gotsa laser!" Ceriz announced pointing her laser directly into Zim's sensitive Irken ocular implants. He collapsed to the ground, shrieking in pain, "Oops, honest accident, Zim."

"Like Zim said, he hates you all." Zim rubbed at his eyes, groaning as tears leaked from them.

"I got a-"

"I'm sure I'm speaking for everybody when I say, no-one gives a care Dib-worm." Zim interrupted, very irritated at the moment.

"How exciting." Zim commented rudely.

"Watch it, alien-scum. There are plenty of puddles to splash you with... AND that sounded much more threatening in my head..." Dib drifted off staring at the ground.

Zim cackled evilly, "You amuse me so, human."


"Where are we?" En asked staring up at large statue of a man on a horse.

"Oh, I think that's- you know I'm not very sure." Dib answered, not really helping.

"You seem to be drifting off more than usual, what, "felien" got your tongue?" Zim inquired jokingly, snickering at his creative irony.

"Oh good, now he's using my own insults against me." Dib moaned, "Right when I have the upper hand."

"Ha! You never had the upper hand!" at that moment Zim grabbed his arm and caused him to slap himself, "NOW you have the upper hand."

"Just take some pictures and kiss and make-up you two." Ceriz giggled, causing En to laugh as well.


"In what delusional universe?"

"That would be your brain." En piped up, causing the two girls to be sent into hysterical laughter with Dib chuckling, safely, at a low level.

"Zim doesn't even have to say it to believe it anymore." the Irken male mumbled under his breath, stalking to a nearby water fountain, keeping a safe distance.

En bumped Dib's shoulder, "Hey, go take a picture with Zim at that water fountain. I have an idea."

"I normally hate your ideas." Dib crossed his arms and eyed her suspiciously.

"Come on. It'll look cute." En pleaded.

Dib stared back horrified, "CUTE?"

"No! No! I meant cool!" En corrected herself quickly.

"You better!" Dib barked, pointing at her accusingly.

"The water fountain." En smiled, then gestured towards the small, water fountain it looked like a more like a nature-inspired water fountain you would see at skool on the walls.

"Fine, but I don't see the whole deal about this." Dib walked over to Zim.

"Can you or can you not stay out of my presence for more than ten minutes you annoying meat-sack?" Zim snarled, threateningly.

"Don't blame me, blame En. She wants us to take a picture together." Dib pointed in the back of him at the smiling teenaged alien in disguise.

"NEVER! I will not be pitted together with you for a photograph even if you were a vampire." Zim declared.

"Wow, how'd you know that?" Dib asked, amused at Zim's knowledge of the fanged undead creatures.

"You left your pathetic para-nor...nor... book at my base when you tried to infiltrate it last week. Which, no doubt in my mind, you did not effect a thing." Zim jeered waving around a blue novel in front of Dib's face. Dib's eyes followed his favorite past-time read and he snatched it from Zim's claws.

"Keep your grubby alien paws off of my stuff." he hugged the book and then put it inside of his drawstring bag.

"Keep your smelly human head out of my base." Zim backfired at him, smirking.

"Guys, come on, just one picture is all I ask." En whined.

Dib sighed, "Like I said, fine." he then turned to Zim for his approval, "The things I do for my fellow Irken."

"Yay! Okay. Each of you stand on either side of the fountain and act like your spewing out the water." En stuck her pointy tongue out the side of her mouth, happily.

"This is stupid." Zim said as he took his position on the left side of the water fountain, keeping a safe distance from the spraying droplets.

"For once, I agree." Dib nodded and placed himself on the right side.

"Alright. Lean in to make it look a little more realistic." En instructed, then put the camera up.

Zim squirmed uncomfortably as his lips barely touched the searing liquid as he and the Dib-stink stayed in that pose until the okay from En to stop.

After a click and a snap En called out, "Okay guys, that was perfect you can stay 5 feet away from each other again now!"

Zim shot up and stomped away from the fountain, wiping off a couple of droplets that seemed to spray him from the small water arch. Dib followed afterwards, still slightly confused why he and Zim had just done that.


"It's 30 minutes to four guys, we need to rap it up and head to the American History Museum now." Dib announced after texting one of the teachers that they were okay.

"Aw, and it was so fun just standing around here like a bunch of fools." Zim whined falsely, then strutted off, "I didn't even get any time to get to the blasted Earth leader's base."

"Oh yeah, you did want to do that." Dib pondered then rose his arms victoriously, "YES! I stopped you just this once!"

"You may have one won Dib, but trust me this will be the last time you do." Zim glared menacingly, obviously very irked that he didn't get to go where he wanted to go.

"That was sad." Dib shook his head then walked off, leading the group to the museum they were told to meet at.

Dib was continuously oblivious to the burning fireball of rage that was Zim, as he walked through the grass and back onto the sidewalk, "This might take a little longer."

"What do you mean?" Zim demanded.

"We're going the wrong way I think." Dib announced, Zim looked close to strangling the nearest thing to him.

"You mean you got us further from where we need to be?" Zim glowered, growling.

"No, I know where I'm going, it'll just take longer." Dib shrugged then simply turned around and lead the group once again through the grass.

"I hope you get arrested for walking on private property." Zim muttered.

"You do know that if he did so would you and the rest of us." En pointed out.

"JUST ONE SECOND! Can Zim have ONE SECOND to bask in his ingenious puns?" Zim roared clutching the air with balled up gloved fists.

"What ingenious puns?" Dib asked rhetorically.

"I hate you... more." Zim added for good measure.


"I... hate... this HORRIBLE... star... planet... ugh." Zim complained aloud pulling at the collar of his invader uniform in discomfort, "It was not even minutes ago it was raining."

"I heard DC has some crazy weather, now that I've experienced it, I believe it 100% more." Ceriz fanned herself with a brochure she had picked up along the way.

"Air!" En cried and moved in front of Ceriz's makeshift fan.

Ceriz cried out in surprise before shoving her friend out of her way, "Hey! Get your own!"

"I don't see what you guys are complaining so much about. It's just a little humid." Dib cocked an eyebrow at his group, he had barely broken a sweat.

"How are you not shriveling up in this accursed heat, I thought that black collects more heat." Zim grabbed Dib's coat to steady himself as his vision grew fuzzy for a moment.

Dib pried Zim's claws off of his trench coat, "I guess the heat doesn't effect me that much."

"I wish I was you." En and Ceriz chorused together.

"I would never wish to be that. Hot or not." Zim hissed, then felt another wave of heat hit him causing him to go more slack.

Dib smirked triumphantly, seeing he was the superior of the group momentarily, "We're almost there."


"If we don't get there in under five minutes I swear I'm going to kill somebody." En announced, her violet-blue eyes shrunk from the heat, she was practically dragging her fellow Irken male as he slouched against her back mumbling, "Please let it be me."

At this Dib broke into wild laughter, "Man! Look at you guys, yeah, quite a pack of mighty aliens!"

"Hey! I'm not an alien!" Ceriz protested.

"Yeah, I know. But seriously, look at them." Dib pointed at the stumbling Irken pair as they collapsed to the ground, Zim pinned on the bottom, "GET OFF OF ME BEFORE I PULL YOUR SPOOCH OUT OF YOUR THROAT AND STRANGLE YOU WITH IT! ZIM SWEARS HE WILL!"

Dib sent himself into another fit of laughter, followed by the occasional chuckle from Ceriz, "Yeah it is a little funny."

"Salvation!" came two voices from ahead as the two booked it down the street towards the large red buses.

Dib and Ceriz, equally happy, jumped and ran as fast as the ones before them, ready to just sink into those plush seats.

"Zim demands you let him in!" Zim pushed several teachers and students out of the way and hopped on the bus, settling down where he had sat earlier, "I have never been more grateful to be somewhere that I never wanted to be in in the first place."

"You can say that again." En smiled, poking her head back at Zim who looked dazed in happiness.

"Zim, your happy is showing." she teased. The smile wiped off of Zim's face.



"Taste the rainbow!"

Zim jumped out of temporary hiatus (Irken equivalent of sleep) as he was pelted by a good five Skittle candy pieces. His confused expression soon turned angry as he snapped up from his seat, "WHO THREW THIS AT ZIM'S HEAD? WHO?"

No-one answered but several kids snickered, one kid called, "Threw what?"

"This... red... blood candy thing!" Zim picked up one of the small pieces from the ground.

"That's a Skittle!" the same kid piped up.

"It doesn't matter if it is a 'Skittle' or not... I DEMAND the name of the person who dare assaults me with such a poor but annoying attack!"

More kids started snickering, some were full out laughing.

Not ready for defeat he stomped, "No matter, I WILL find you, whoever you are... just you wait... when you fall asleep on this filthy ride... which I am SURE you will I will tear you limb from limb and then-"

"Zim! No threatening other students with limb removal, that's MY job." Ms. Bitters hissed from the front of the bus, glaring at him from behind her sharp glasses.

Zim sighed angrily then just merely sat down, it was then that he noticed the knocked out human next to him.

"Puny humans. Their brains can't even pick up loud noises when they are 'sleeping'." Zim muttered, proud about his abilities when under hiatus, he could pick up the slightest of sound, movement, or attack. It was almost like being aware with actually being... eh.. aware.

He yawned and then curled up against the window once more, he pressed one of his fingers against one of his temples and immediately he fell back into hiatus, his PAK giving off a slow blinking light.

Dib peered open one of his eyes, "Heh. I can't believe I actually fooled him. Well I sorta can. No-one could sleep through your rants Zim." he nudged the alien roughly in the side.

Zim opened his eyes and glared at Dib, his eyelids lowered a little, "What?"

"Nothing. Accident." Dib replied then sat back in his seat as Zim huffed and went back into hiatus.

Ceriz took this time to look back at Dib then at Zim, "Is he sleeping?"

"I don't think you could call it that but yeah.. something like that. Why?"

His question was soon answered when Ceriz whipped out her laser pointer.

"I like how you think." Dib laughed thinking of how Zim reacted the first time he had been shone in the eyes with it.

Ceriz turned on her new toy and quickly shone it in Zim's eyes even before the blinking could stop Zim jumped in his seat clutching his eyes and screaming, "Gah! Why does it hurt?"

Ceriz, En, and Dib were all obvious culprits as Zim glared at them as they laughed.

"It's not funny! Don't ever do that again, you should never wake an Irken from hiatus as abruptly as that!" Zim snapped, very angry at the thought.

"Shut-it green kid and freaks." several goldfish crackers and skittles sailed over their heads and pelted them like hail.

"This is what I get for getting involved with you people." Zim moaned.

The End

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