FANDOM


This belongs to TK, so please do not edit this in any way for any reason without permission.


Did you know that depression is triggered by a chemical imbalance in the brain? The chemical imbalance is usually caused by suffering, bullying, the loss of someone close to you, or something else along those lines. People usually get over it once the hardships they were going through end. They can also take medicine to help it go away.

I sat in class, silently and emotionlessly. Well, everyone thought I was emotionless at the time, but I really wasn't.

Sometimes scars are too deep to heal enough for the extremely unlucky victim to be free of depression, and sometimes medicine doesn't make it go away. I was one of the extremely unlucky victims.

I suffered from depression. Day after day, ever since I was around three or four, I suffered and no one even tried to help me.

I never made much of an effort to hide it in my home country. Depression wast at all uncommon for adults in Lithuania. It was actually quite common. But I was a bright little girl, which turned out to be a curse. How, you ask? Well, I was able to understand the state of my nation's economy and government. By the way, did you know that the average Lithuanian who has lived in Lithuania their whole life, fully understands the state of the economy and government, and has never been abroad for longer than six months usually commits suicide before age forty?

Why didn't I just end it all? I had nothing to live for, did I? I was hated by everyone, even my own family. So what was my life worth? My stomach flipped suddenly. It wasn't anything new, really. I always did, and still do, upset my stomach if I think about that sort of thing. Sometimes, if it's worse, I get cramps. But when it gets really bad, I sometimes even make myself throw up. I knew the only reason I was hurting physically was because I was mentally hurting even worse. I never understood why I ever thought of it, because it only seemed to cause even more pain both mentally and physically.

Depression is a really serious thing. I was sure that if I showed it when I moved to Poland, at least one person would notice. I was sure that the one who noticed me wouldn't do much to help. Everyone else would just kick me down and tell me to get over it. I'm sure you would as well. That's because no one really understands how hard it is to overcome something so awful. I figured that no one knowing why I acted and dressed the way I did was better than having everyone, minus maybe one or two, beating me down.

Everyone thought me covering almost every inch of my skin was weird, especially during summer. But the reason I wore it was so that I wouldn't show too many of my scars from several suicide attempts. I always wanted to die, really. I couldn't even remember the last time my eyes weren't either dull blue or dark purple.

Sometimes people are driven to actually putting effort into their suicide attempts until a single thought proccess pushes them to it.

When the teacher announced that she had to go to the principal's office to get some paperwork done, something in my brain clicked. I loved making other people happy, and since everyone hated me and wanted me dead, successfully killing myself would make them happy. I got up and walked to the front of the classroom and pressed my pocketknife against my wrist.

"I'm going to kill myself," I announced. "I hate it when people are sad or upset, and I love to make people happy. Since all of you want me dead, I'll make you happy and kill myself."

As long as there still is doubt in the person's mind that they really do want to end your life, even if it's so small they couldn't notice it even if they tried their very hardest to, their guardian angel will come to the rescue.

I make a long cut from my wrist up to my shoulder. Right as I was about to make a cut in my neck, the shy girl who sat on the opposite side of the room than I did tackled and yanked the knife out of my hands. Her light green eyes, which were usually filled with happiness and playfulness were now sad and full of tears.

"Wh-what were you, like, thinking?" she asked shakily. "You've totally, like, got your whole life ahead of you! I don't care if you're, like, Lithuanian or Latvianor Russian or whatever, your life still matters..."

"Everyone hates me," I responded quietly. "They all hate me."

It's never a coincidence, either. The one who saves the person who is suffering was sent because they know what the situation is like or they just know how the person feel, and they are sent by God's will.

"Everyone, like, bullies me. It's not, like, a matter of whether you're liked or hated, it's a matter of what your life is worth. Just, like, rise up every time you're beat down. Like a Pheonix rises from the ashes after it dies!"

I just stared back at her with my lifeless blue eyes. How else was I supposed to react? "Yeah, wonderful"? "Whatever, get off me now"? I wasn't really sure. Before I even had time to say a full sentence anyway, she placed a light kiss on my lips.

Sometimes a specific person can help get rid of someone else's depression. There's always someone who cares and understands. You all think it's no big deal, but it is.

"Kocham cię, aš tave myliu."

My eyes lit up to a bright green. I know this because she gasped and exclaimed. "Like, oh my God! Your eyes just, like, changed color! They were purple, and now they're, like, green! Does that, like, mean something bad?"

"No...actually, it means I'm happy. Purple means really depressed. You said the one thing I've needed to hear for so long. Thank you."

The person may not fix the problem entirely, but they still are a huge help.

But of course...those without depression still don't even fully understand this, if they even understand at all. Oh, well. It's hard to anyway, taip?

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.